Hocus Pocus no Jutsu!
by Atama Ga Kuru Teru
Summary: I never imagined my training to become a full-fledged witch would involve bringing fictional criminals to life and showing them to my superiors...maybe my ideal career choice should have been a vet? AkatsukiXOCs later on in the story!
1. The Challange!

_**Hocus Pocus no Jutsu~!**_

_**Chapter One**_

**Hello there everyone! This is Yuki of Atama Ga Kuru Teru. I had this idea when reading a fanfic called "A Year to Remember" by Katsuki Shizenno, because there's a witch in there. Arigato Katsuki-sama! And you know I'm not copying off of you, right? Anyways…I thought, why not make an Akatsuki fanfic involving a witch? It also kind of follows the movie by Hayao Miayzaki called "Kiki's Delivery Service" for the fact that my OC will have to complete her training as a witch, and she's going to have a cat. I may have her involved with a member of the Akatsuki romantically, but I'm not sure yet. For now, it's just a fanfic about her trying to become a full-fledged witch. If you want her to be with an Akatsuki guy, tell me in a review! So, please enjoy! I don't know if Rose or Amaya will help write this, but if they do, that'd be awesome.**

My name is Keiko Furiyama. I am nineteen years old and I live in Tokyo, Japan. I am a witch. More specifically, a witch in training. That means that I can use my full powers until I pass the final test that my superiors will give me when they think I'm ready.

And evidently they chose today to tell me I am ready.

But guess what?

I'M NOT!

"Oh my God, I'm not ready for this, why did it have to be today?" I ran around my apartment building cursing everything I could think of; my life, my brain, my powers, my superiors, the taco on the counter- wait, that's my lunch. Never mind, I won't curse that, I'm hungry.

"Keiko, calm down. You'll do fine!" Miyu, my cat familiar said comfortingly. She was your average black cat, with the exception of having a star-light silver patch of fur on her forehead. Why does she always have to be so level-headed?

"No, I won't. Zakuro hates me; she'll make sure whatever task I get, I'll fail at it." I shot at Miyu, stuffing the taco in my mouth. Zakuro was one of the Council of Witches, and yes, she hated me for no apparent reason. Probably because I'm prettier than her….Okay, I'm kidding, I'm pretty plain looking. She's gorgeous.

Miyu sighed, leaping up on the counter to stare at me sharply. "Keiko, just do your best. You may not be the best witch around, but then again, you aren't the worst. Remember Kairi?"

I smirked as I remembered the last time I saw Kairi. It was a couple years ago, and she had been chosen to complete a very hard task that even full-fledged witches have trouble with; to summon one of the great demons of the old world.

Guess what? She failed. Miserably. Last I heard, the poor girl was hiding out somewhere in Australia and had given up all her powers.

"I guess you have a point. …what if they want me to summon a demon though?"

"I highly doubt the Council will choose a task like that for you," Miyu deadpanned, twitching her tail in annoyance at my lack of self-confidence.

"But they did for Keiko!"  
"Yes, because they knew she sucked. They know you're at a medium level. They'll be fair."

"I hope you're right," I muttered, walking over to a mirror to study if I looked put-together or not. I had on the usual trainee-witch outfit; a black dress that had lace around the hem and cuffs, and it poofed out slightly at the end. I wore knee-high black boots, and my witch's hat was made silk and had magic runes around the sides that faded in and out. My pale blue hair went down to my shoulder blades and cascaded down freely like a waterfall. My matching pale blue eyes stared back at me from the reflection.

Yep, I looked okay.

"We're off, Miyu! Come on, let's use the broom," I grabbed my broom that I affectionately named "Broomy" when I got it at the age of twelve. One thing I did faster than most other witches was learn to fly, so I always had that to be proud of.

"Keiko, you always use Broomy. Why not use a teleportation spell for once?" Miyu suggested, cocking her little feline head in confusion.

I looked down as a little raincloud appeared over my head and muttered, "Because that spell always makes my hair frizzy." I glared at her. "Besides, you knew that, you evil little cat!"

Miyu grinned, her sharp white teeth sparkling. "Fine, use Broomy."

I walked out of my apartment into the crowded street, holding my head high as Miyu trotted next to me. People have gotten used to my…"eccentricities" but I still got weird looks every once and awhile. People just thought I was odd. You see, despite the fact that we witches have existed for hundreds of years, normal humans still deny the fact that magic exists. They're too busy with their science and computers games.

Actually, I have to admit; even though I'm supposed to be old-fashioned and everything (which is pretty much impossible, since I'm stationed here in Tokyo, the electronics capital of the freaking world) I love all that scientific stuff. Cell phones, iPods, computers, gaming stations, you name it.

And I do have one guilty pleasure.

Anime and manga.

I can't help it, it's cool. Especially the series called _Naruto_. I mean, sure, the current stuff sucks at this moment, **(A/N: which it does, don't even deny it)** I still love the whole idea of it. I have a secret shrine to the series in one of my closets, and only Miyu and I know about it.

So, I got to the park close to my apartment complex, hopped on Broomy, and flew to the meeting place the messenger from the Council told to go to. It was a small island that used to be inhabited by our ancestors off the coast of Japan, and luckily it didn't take too long to get there.

Once I landed on the island, I walked through the dense forest until I found the shrine I was told about. In the old days, our ancestors from this part of the world did their rituals and other important things here, thanking the Earth for their creation. The shrine was made of silver bark from an extinct tree that once populated the entire earth. However, due to our greediness, we used all the trees up, and only things made of the bark were left. There were two statues at the opening of the shrine, one of an angel-like creature, and the other of a demon. There were stairs that led to a wall, and I knew that the wall would only open when a member of the Council said a spell only known to the Council.

"Trainee Keiko Furiyama, reporting," I announced at the opening of the shrine.

"Enter," A voice said, seeming to come from all around the shrine. The wall opened with a dragging noise, and I descended down the stairs.

The whole shrine had a feeling of power, and my witch's sense picked up on it right away. It was a warm type of power that made me feel safe and comforted. The tip of Miyu's tail brushed against my leg, and I knew she was feeling the same way.

"Trainee Keiko Furiyama…" I stopped in my tracks once I reached a large room decorated with various statues and other things like it. In the middle of the room stood four figures; the heads of the Council of Witches.

Zakuro Sakurada, Luna Amore, Aria Lied, and Kitsune Chi, the four greatest witches of this century. Zakuro was a gorgeous woman with honey brown hair at the age of thirty; Luna was in her late fifties and it barely showed on her smooth face with absolutely no white or grey in her blonde hair; Aria was the eldest, in her seventies, and the only sign of age was a streak of silver in her otherwise pure black hair; lastly, Kitsune was the youngest at the age of twenty-three, a prodigy amongst witches. Her bright orange hair was always a shock to me.

All four of them wore the garbs of elite witches; a dark black dress that had runes all over the fabric that glowed softly continuously in different neon colors, witches hats that were an even darker black with no other colors spoil the onyx shade, and each of them held in their hands a staff that signified their specific element.

Zakuro's staff was a beautiful silver, meaning she had the element of air mastered. Luna held an emerald staff of gilded leaves, signifying her connection to earth. Aria's staff was a deep sapphire color that casted a wave-like shadow, showing her affinity with water. And Kitsune's staff was a bright, fiery red, telling everyone that the element of fire had chosen her.

They were amazing witches, and they scared the hell out of me.

"Hello, Keiko," Luna spoke first, smiling warmly.

"H-hello," I squeaked out, bowing to all four of them. "It's an honor to be in your presence."

"Please, relax," Aria said. Her voice was kind, and set me at ease.

"Aw, the trainee's are always so cute," Kitsune's grinned. "I remember when that was me…good times."

"Keiko, I assume you're ready?" Zakuro said roughly, breaking my calmness.

I nodded. "Yes, ma'am. Tell me my task, and I assure you I will do it to the best of my ability as a proud witch."

All four witches looked at each other, then to me and said in perfect sync the one sentence that would change my life forever:

"You task is to bring characters of the evil organization called "Akatsuki" from the anime _Naruto_ to life, and show them to us."

I almost crapped my pants when the words hit me, and I stammered a weak, "E-excuse me?"

Zakuro snorted in annoyance. "We've received tips from some of our loyal…associates…that you have been indulging in the modernized world. So, we figured that you're task should be something about the things you secretly enjoy. That way, you won't fail."

Oh, they're good! Those evil hags…I hate them now!

Miyu's softly nudged my leg, telling me that I should answer quickly. "O-of course, madams. I will do so immediately. I apologize for liking the modern technology."

Kitsune waved a hand, signaling it was forgiven. "Eh, it's okay. You're young; you deserve to enjoy that kind of thing!"

"Now leave us, Trainee." Zakuro commanded sharply. "We have work to do."

"Good luck!" Both Aria and Luna called out cheerfully as I walked back up the stairs, the wall closing behind me with a thud.

I fell to the floor in a heap and cradled Broomy in my hands, "I'm doomed….Miyu, I'm doomed!"

And that is how my crazy adventure to finish my training as a witch started. I'm beginning to think I should have chosen a different career than a witch….maybe a vet?

It's too late now.

Great.

**So, good so far? Don't worry, the Akatsuki will be in the next chapter. I just had to introduce everything so far. Sadly, I won't be able to update from July 11 to the 16 because I will be on vacation. If Rose or Amaya want to take a crack at this, they can. I don't mind. Read and review everyone, and I love you all!**


	2. The Omnipresent Library? WTF!

_**Hocus Pocus no Jutsu~!**_

_**Chapter 2**_

**Well, this is Amaya from Atama ga kuru teru… and well, I got bored, so I'm adding on to this while Yuki is away. If this sucks then deal with it, cuz I have no clue on what plans Yuki has for this… oh well. Anyway, here it is. Hope you enjoy it.**

As I left the shrine I couldn't help but freak out. What was I going to do? How the hell am I supposed to bring the Akatsuki to life? That's impossible! Wait, no it's not! I can't give up yet! Stop doubting yourself Keiko!

"So you're worried about this challenge?" Miyu asked with a grin on her face. How could she be smiling at a time like this? Erg!

"So what if I'm worried! You would be too!" I snapped, quickly apologizing for yelling at her, "Sorry… it's just, I don't know. It seems impossible!"

"Keiko, You. Are. A. Witch! Pull yourself together!" she shook me, "Use magic, it will be fine. You know magic is practically the answer to everything."

"Yeah, but how am I supposed to bring nonexistent people into existence? It sounds… wrong. You can't just bring something to life using magic. It wouldn't work, would it? I mean, magic can't really create life, can it?" I wondered out loud.

"Heh, I know a magic that _can_ create life," Miyu grinned pervertedly, and I couldn't help but smile a little and shove her.

"Stop making jokes, I'm freaking out here! Besides, you could at least help me a little!" I reprimanded.

She rolled her eyes, "Now if I did that it would be cheating. You know I can't help you with your challenge, it's against the rules."

"So, rules are for people who are too scared to do anything relatively fun."

"Do you want to be a witch or not?"

"No, I want to work at Walmart!" I said sarcastically, "Yes, I do want to be a witch, why else would I be doing this insanely impossible challenge?"

Miyu shrugged, "Well if you want to be a witch, than follow the rules."

"Fiiiine," I rolled my eyes and sighed, "Let's go try to find information that might help."

And so, we headed to the library… er, the witch library, where they have… uh, witch books? Personally, I had never been there before, I had always been too busy going to the normal human library to read manga, but I've heard that the witch library is underground or something. It's supposed to be really big or something, with marble floors and big chandeliers. A real fancy place, I suppose.

"Hey, Miyu, you know where the witch library is, right?" I asked, as we flew back to Tokyo.

"Yeah, of course I do. Every witch knows where it is. You'd have to be stupid not to know," she said.

"Uh, yeah," I laughed nervously.

"You don't know where it is, do you?"

"…no…"

"Well, that's what you get for reading manga," she shook her head, grinning. I knew she was just teasing. She also read it occasionally, but she only read stuff like Vampire Knight, which was okay, but I wasn't as excited about it as I was Naruto.

"Whatever, like you're one to talk."

She shrugged, and we flew on.

About ten minutes later we landed in a quiet back alley near to our apartment.

"So, where's the library?" I asked Miyu.

"You really don't know, do you?" she deadpanned.

"Not really."

"Wow… Anyway, there isn't really a specific place that the library is. You see, it moves around. It's almost like an omnipresent, it's everywhere. You can enter it here at the same time someone across the world is entering it. All you have to do is request to see it, and you're there," she explained.

"Really, so it isn't underground?" I asked, surprised.

"No."

"Oh… then why did I think it was there?" I wondered to myself.

"I don't know, but if you want to get that challenge done, you'd better get to the library soon," Miyu said.

"Yeah, you're right, let's go."

Man, this day is turning out weird, first I get this horrible, impossible challenge, and now I'm going to an omnipresent library to find information on how to bring imaginary people to life. Great, just great.

**Well folks, that's all I feel like writing, besides, I'm hungry, so I'm going to go eat some Chinese food… anyway, I do not own Naruto, sadly… and I guess I don't own Miyu and Keiko either since Yuki created them… man, that sucks… on the other hand, I do own the Omnipresent Library, that's pretty cool, right? Yeah, you guys are so jealous. XD **

**-Amaya**


	3. Spell Making 101

_**Chapter 3**_

_**Aw, Amaya-chan updated this while I was on vacation! Arigato Amaya-chan! When I got home and checked the story, I literally squealed in delight when I saw that I had eight reviews and that Amaya had updated for me. And, sadly, I myself have no idea what the plans for this story are. I just wanted to write it! XD Okay, NOW the Akatsuki shall be making an appearance. I hope it meets your expectations! Thank you for the reviews so far, if you have any ideas, please feel free to share them with me!**_

"Okay…that spell didn't work," I panted, signaling for Miyu to cross the spell off my list of "How to Bring the Akatsuki to Life Spells."

"We're down to only three left, Keiko," Miyu said, her words muffled by the pen she held in her tiny little kitty mouth.

"Three? Crap. I may have to make this spell up then, if none of these work," I gritted my teeth as the exhaustion from attempting to cast all these spells began to hit me. I hadn't really found anything at the library, so I was relying on my own spell books. The big, old, dusty ones that were shoved in the back of my witch-stuff closet. Where there I found a pair of underwear I had lost about a year ago, but that's beside the point.

"I believe in you, Keiko!" Miyu cheered, waving the pen like a flag. Only this is, that pen was white, so technically she was telling me to give up.

But I wouldn't let that faze me! I had a task to complete! And then…

I could become a full-fledged witch! And gain access to all sorts of dangerous spells! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! I am so evil!

"Keiko, you're cackling evilly out loud again." Miyu deadpanned.

I sweatdropped. "Uh…heh-heh…ahem, let's get cracking, shall we? Oh God, that sounded really cheesy…my brain is totally fried from all of this."

Miyu patted my hand reassuringly with her paw. "You're doing fine!"

"WAAAAAH! Why can't I just saw 'hocus pocus' like all regular mortals do when they're trying to be us and be done with it?" I sobbed, slamming my head into the old spell book, coughing up dirt as I did so. "Wait a minute…that's it!" I leapt up in glee. "Miyu, I have a full-proof plane! To the closet of horrors!"

"We're going to your hentai sanctuary?" Miyu asked slowly, blinking.

I fell down in true anime style, then leapt right back up and yelled at her vehemently, "I DON'T READ OR WATCH HENTAI! That closet is Naruto fan art I found! So what if some of the Akatsuki are naked in them, they're hot!"

Miyu smirked a conniving little cat smirk. "You dirty girl…I never knew you liked the Akatsuki."

Oh, crap. What had I just gotten myself into?

"N-no! I don't like them; they're evil bastards! I DON'T LIKE THE AKATSUKI!" I screamed defiantly, crumpling the spell list I held in my hands.

With all the screaming going on today, I'm surprised the neighbors haven't called the police yet.

"Riiiiiiight…" Miyu shrugged and sauntered off to the closet where I kept the witch stuff. There were spell ingredients, spell books, a limited edition Naruto headband- hey when'd that get in there? I've been looking everywhere for it!

I picked up the headband and cradled it, "Oh, my sweet baby…I thought I lost you! Momma will always wear you, okay?" I giggled sweetly when Miyu rolled her eyes at me and tied the headband around my neck. It was limited edition because it had the Akatsuki cloud symbol on it, and it took me a very long time to find it.

"Keiko, please try to stay on track," Miyu sighed and began pawing through the sea of garbage and various other crap piled away in the closet of horrors.

…yeah, I name anything. Deal with it.

"What do you think would work, Miyu?" I asked, picking up a bottled labeled "Dragon's Blood". I was pretty sure it was ketchup though, because one time I ran out of ketchup and instead of buying a new bottle, I distinctly remember emptying out this bottle and filling it with ketchup from a neighbor. Yep, I'm as cheap as can be! I only spend money on the important things, like manga; anime; computer things; iPod things; TV things; uh…. A lot of important things!

"I have no clue. Are you going to try to make your own spell?"

"Yeah," I answered the cat, shaking the bottled filled with ketchup. "And I'm gonna use the most clichéd spell words ever created: 'hocus-pocus'."

Miyu stared at me. "…have you been doing crack while I wasn't looking?"

"Of course not! …it was pot."

"KEIKO!"  
"I was kidding!" Geez, you'd think this cat familiar of mine was my mother sometimes…

Miyu smacked her furry forehead with her tail. "Great, my mistress has gone psycho…using the words 'hocus-pocus' as a spell…come one, what's next? Opening the apartment door with 'open sesame'?"

I rubbed the back of my neck in embarrassment. "Uh, well, you see…that actually…works."

"You're kidding me, right? Please say you're kidding."

"…nope!"

"Oh lord, I have GOT to get a mate," Miyu muttered as I laughed at her. "Then I can spend less time with crazy over here."

**~Two Hours Later~**

"Wish me luck, Miyu!" I said, gathering up my materials for the spell. We had carefully created a spell and chosen the right ingredients. Well, we hoped they were the right ones. Guess we'd find out.

I stood in the middle of the big rune circle we'd created and layed the ingredients down in their proper places. I shall not reveal to you what the objects we used were, because it is my secret. **(A/N: translation: I don't know what they are and I'm too lazy to think of what they would be. Use your imagination.)**

"All right, here I go!" I said, and began to chant the spell, concentrating only on one thought: _Bring the Akatsuki to life._

_Whatever gods there may be_

_Please hear and answer my plea_

_All I want to do is bring the Akatsuki to life_

_So that I may finish my witch training with no strife_

_I beg of you, Wind; Water; Fire; Air_

_Answer my plea_

_Answer my prayer_

**(A/N: actually in the witches world, there are six elements; wind, water, fire, air, and lightening and ice. But Keiko is just calling upon those four elements because the heads of the witch council use those elements. Get it? Later on in the story there will be two more new elements, but I won't spoil them for you. :3)**

I closed my eyes, concentrated my energy to the circle I was standing on, and then opened them while shouting "HOCUS PCUS NO JUSTU~!" Inside my head I grinned when I saw Miyu smack her head on the floor at the fact that I added 'no justu' to the spell. Hey, I'm a Narutard who happens to be a witch; what'd you expect?

The circle glowed intensely, and the ingredients I'd spread around it began to levitate. I felt a rush of power surging through me, making me feel giddy and joyful. Suddenly, my headband got intensely hot, and unraveled itself from my neck, floating to the center of the spell circle.

The Akatsuki symbol on it glowed with a warm powerful light, and Miyu and I had to shield our eyes. The headband's glowing subsided, and when I looked, there was a black hole gaping in mid-air from behind it. I gaped at the hole, and then gasped and hid behind a couch when the headband began to shake violently, and the hole spouted out flashed of light.

And guess what came from those flashes of light?

That's right; the Akatsuki. Pein, Konan, Deidara, Sasori, Zetsu, Tobi, Kisame, Itachi, Hidan, and Kakuzu. It looked like Sasuke's group wasn't with them, which was a good thing, since I hate them. Well, Juugo and Suigetsu are kind of cool, but other than that…blah.

"Oh...my…God…" I whispered to Miyu excitedly. "It worked! I guess my limited edition headband did the trick, huh?"

"Yeah, but I think you should explain to them what's going on before they kill us." Miyu deadpanned as the organization of criminals all stood around looking confused, then very angry.

"You have a point." I stood up from behind the couch and cleared my throat. "Ah, ahem. M-my name is Keiko, and you're probably wondering where you are-"

"Damn straight we are, bitch!" hidan blurted out angrily. "Where the fuck are we?"

"You're in Tokyo!" I answered cheerfully.

"….Tokyo?" Kisame scrunched his blue sharkie face in confusion. "Never heard of it."

"Tell us where we are," Sasori demanded heatedly, not believing me I guess.

"I told you, Tokyo! Tokyo, Japan, to be exact," I said.

"We have no idea what village that is," Pein growled. "Care to elaborate for us, girl?" Konan nodded, keeping close to Pein's side. PeinXKonan, anyone?** (A/N: I fully support that couple.)**

"Uh…this is harder than I thought," I scratched my head to think of a better way to explain this to the Akatsuki, even though to me it seemed pretty straight-forward.

"Sempai, look! A KITTY!" Everyone's favorite hyper orange cupcake boy, Tobi, picked up Miyu and cuddled her. …More like suffocated her, judging by poor Miyu's distressed meowing.

"Put that thing down, un!" Deidara yelled, smacking Tobi upside the head so he'd let go of Miyu, who scampered off to hide behind me.

"Hn, you fools," Itachi muttered, emo as ever. Gotta love the Uchiha, right?

"Girl, tell us where we are** or else I will eat you.**" Both of Zetsu's sides threatened.

Kakuzu looked around my apartment. "…this place looks like it costs a lot of money."

"Yes, yes it does," I told him, then addressed the whole group once more. Taking a deep breath, I launched into a quick rendition of what was going on. "I'm a witch-in-training, and my task was to bring you guys into the real-world. You're just a part of an anime/manga series named Naruto, and in the current part of it, you're all basically dead. Which sucks. Anyway, I created a spell to bring you guys to life, and it worked! I'm amazing! WOO-HOO!" And then, I sort of completely forgot I had a group of mass-murdering criminals from a TV show in my apartment, and ran around screaming happily, "I DID IT! I BROUGHT THEM TO LIFE! I'M AMAZING! PARTY~~~!"

Sadly, in my excitement, I somehow ended up smacking right into a wall, and blacking out.

Not a good thing to do with the Akatsuki in your premises, right?

_**So, the Akatsuki finally came in! YAY! About the spell Keiko used, there will be more popping up probably. I just hope I can call upon my imagination to make them cool and stuff…Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed chapter three! Please read and review! I love you all, and remember: if you have any ideas, please tell me!**_


	4. An Unexpected Turn of Events

_**Chapter 4**_

_**Okay everybody, I'd like to thank you all for reviewing so far! By the way, I tend to update very quickly, but when school starts, it may be very slow going. I apologize for those future delays. Oh, my good friend Katsuki Shizenno reviewed, so I'm happy! ARIGATO KATSUKI-SAMA! She gave me a couple ideas that made me laugh, but I'm not sure if I'll use them. It depends on my scatter-brained ideas. And, I must warn you; I sometimes type too fast and then forget to do spell check, so there may be quite a few typos through-out this. Please bear with me! So, sit back and relax as you read chapter four of "Hocus Pocus no Justu!" Oh, and just to let you know, the first part of this chapter is a coma-tose dream that Keiko is having. I'm pretty sure you all would figure it out pretty quickly, but I thought I should just confirm it.**_

"Follow the butterflies~! Follow the butterflies~!" I skipped happily through a field of flowers, singing and dancing as I followed a bright pink butterfly that held a sign saying "This way to free tacos!" What can I say; I'm a sucker for tacos. Especially the free kind.

"Mr. Butterfly, how much longer to the tacos?" I asked when I'd been following him for about five minutes.

The butterfly turned around and suddenly was a giant taco itself. "Fool, I AM the taco! The taco of supreme horror and spiciness! I shall fight all that stand in my way of ruling SPARKLE ISLAND!"

"NO! Not Sparkle Island, the land where all your hopes and dreams come true!"I sobbed. I rounded on the giant taco and whipped out a light saber. "Prepare to meet your father! DARTH VADER POWERS, ACTIVATE!" I jumped onto the taco, suddenly garbed in a Darth Vader outfit, and began to beat the crap out of it.

"Ow! OW! Not there! That's not supposed to bend that way!" The taco cried out in pain. I grinned and smacked the giant Mexican delicacy with the light saber, and its voice changed to something very familiar. "KEIKO, WAKE UP!"

My eyes snapped open to find that I was wielding a random bat in one hand, holding Miyu in the other, and it looked like I had been…hitting her with it…

Oh fudge-muffins with a cherry on top.

"UWAH!" I dropped both the bat and the cat at the same time, and both fell onto the floor.** (A/N: LOL, it rhymed. I so totally planned that.) **"M-Miyu, I'm so sorry!"

"You'd better be…" The cat grumbled, rubbing her head with her paw. "That hurt!" She glared at me through slitted eyes. "Do you have any idea how terrifying it is when all of a sudden an unconscious witch suddenly creates a baseball bat out of thin air and begins to swing it around screaming nonsense about evil Darth Vader tacos?"

I gulped and giggled nervously. "Yeah…um, really scary? I'm sorry, it was a dream! I had to defeat the taco or else it would take over – WAIT, WHERE'S THE AKATSUKI?" I suddenly remembered my feat that I had achieved earlier, and I looked around worriedly to find the whole group staring at me looking both frightened and annoyed. Probably at my baseball bat rave, I guess.

"Well, she's up. Finally," Pein grumbled, sitting on my couch next to Konan. Aw, the two looked so damn kawaii together! PEIN AND KONAN FOR THE WIN BITCHES!

"Uh, hey!" I waved to the Akatsuki. "So…how's it hangin'? Do anything criminal while I was battling the evil taco demon?"

"Sadly, no. Your cat wouldn't let us go. But she explained everything in a much better sense than you did, so now we understand why and how we were brought here." I could practically hear Miyu's evil laughter inside her head as Pein told me this, all non-too happily.

"Oh. Well…that's good. Now I don't have to explain myself again. Off to the witches' shrine so I can show the Council I accomplished my task, and become a full-fledged witch!" I pointed towards the door and grabbed Broomy.

"Not so fast, un!" Deidara jumped in front of the door, blocking my exit. "We never said anything about going with you!"

I crossed my arms. "Well, you don't really have a choice."

"Yes we do, bitch!" Hidan grabbed me by the collar on my witch dress. "Send us fucking back!"

"I'd suggest doing what he said, or else," Itachi looked at me hard. "You may end up dead."

"I'd send you back if I could," I said, getting out of the angry Jashinist's grasp. "But I don't know how."

"WHAT?" Kisame yelled. "What do you mean, you don't know how? You brought us here!"

"Yeah, well…I have no clue how to send you back." I shrugged. "That's why I need to show you guys to my higher-ups; they'll make me a true witch, and then I'll be able to send you back."

"That does make sense…" Sasori turned to Pein. "What should we do, Pein?"

"I say we** eat her with BBQ sauce** and then wreak intense havoc upon this world." Zetsu said hoarsely, grinning. Okay, venus flytrap man is creepy when he grins.

"Zetsu, you can't just eat EVERYBODY," Kakuzu said, exasperated. "You'll get indigestion again."

"And then Tobi will have to clean it up again…" Tobi shuddered and sniffled adorably. "Tobi doesn't want to clean that again!"

"Tobi, you won't have to clean it up, we'll make Deidara do it." Konan assured him. Deidara glared at her and casually flipped her off.

"Okay, please don't eat me." I said to the still-grinning Zetsu. To the rest of the Akatsuki I said, "Well, will you come with me? I promise I return you guys back to your own world as soon as I can. You'll just have to be patient."

They all grumbled, but I took that as a yes. Miyu nudged me with her tail and I picked her up, putting her against my ear so she could whisper. "Keiko, I somehow have a bad feeling about this."

"What?" I blinked in surprise. "What do you mean, Miyu?"

The cat shrugged. "I guess I feel like something will go horribly wrong, and we'll be in the crossfire of it. I think we need to be extra careful with the Akatsuki here."

"No duh." I deadpanned, looking at each of the members. "They're freaking criminals, Miyu."

Miyu squirmed as she tried to think straight. "I just…I don't know. Just be careful when showing them to the council, okay?"

I sighed and lightly petting the top of Miyu's head. "All right, since you insist. Hey, Akatsuki members!" I addressed them all sharply. "Get in a circle, will you? I'm going to teleport us to the shrine, since I can't carry you all on Broomy here." I patted my trusty broom and grinned. "Now, prepare to feel a slight tingling sensation followed by possible nausea or a head ache…"

And with that, a poof, and some pain filled groans, we were all standing in front of the witch shrine. Well, I was standing. The Akatsuki were on the ground holding their heads and grumbling angrily. Hey, I gave them a fair warning about teleporting side effects!

"Uh, you guys okay?" I asked worriedly.

"Of course not, un! I feel like I just got a hangover!" Deidara spat at me. I flinched at his anger, but shrugged. "Sorry, I told you what might happen, so don't blame me."

I looked around the island as the Akatsuki got to their senses. I was unaware that is was already night time, so everything was hard to see. "Crap…we may not be able to get into the shrine today. We may have to check tomorrow."

Cue the disgruntled sounds of depressed anger coming from each of the Akatsuki members. Great, now I'm starting to feel bad about all of this. Why the hell did I have to be such a major Naruto otaku that the damn spies from the council find out about it? Sighing, I trudged over to the shrine and knocked on the wall. "Hello? Anyone in there? It's Keiko Furiyama again, I've completed my task and I need to show the four head witches of the Witch Council!" There was no answer. Shit.

"Okay, we're coming back tomorrow everybody," I announced, stepping back from the shrine. "Get ready for another teleportation spell-"

"Keiko, look!" Miyu interrupted, pointing a paw at the shrine. I turned around to find it opening, which was odd, since there had been no warning or permission to enter like usual. "My bad feeling is coming back, Keiko," Miyu whispered to me as we stood in front of the open stairway and stared into the dark depths.

"Why? We're at the shrine; you should feel bursting with happy, safe feelings!" But even I was feeling somewhat disturbed for some reason. Why the hell was going on?

"Hey, why the hell are you just standing there? Get in the creepy-ass shrine already so we can go home!" Sasori demanded.

"Seriously, just go in," Kisame said, pushing me closer to the gaping opening. Instantly a wave of terror hit me, and I leapt backwards into Kakuzu. "Sorry," I whimpered in a terrified voice. "I can't go in there. There's something…evil happening…"

"What?" Itachi asked, confused. Hey, that's a new look for emo weasel man! Aw, he looks so cute all confuzzled…I wanna hug him! **(A/N: "confuzzled" is my word. No stealing it. …ah, I don't give a flaming horseturd; you can use it if you want.)**

"What the fuck are you talking about, you fucking crazy bitch?" Hidan growled.

I shuddered, and Miyu shuddered right next to me. "When we witches come to this shrine, we're supposed to feel protected. But…there's something evil down there now. It doesn't feel right. I can't go down there, I don't like this feeling!"

"Keiko-chan, it's okay! Tobi is right here!" Tobi, God bless the little squirt, ran over to me and glomped me. "And Tobi shall protect you!"

"Th-thanks…" I blushed as his arms tightened around me. Miyu gave me a "What the fuck is wrong with you?" look. She knew I hated Madara for what he'd done in the series, but she didn't know that I was sorta/kinda/ in love with Tobi. And Deidara. And Sasori.

I know, I need to pick one and get over it.

So sue me.

"Tobi, get off of her, un." Deidara said, smacking the orange lollipop over the head. "We need her to get her ass down there and send us back home, and you hanging all over her won't help."

"Maybe if we** eat her and then** go down there they'll just** send US back without** making her a real witch," Zetsu suggested. Okay, that's it, I'm screaming at him.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH YOU AND WANTING TO EAT ME?" I screamed at the plant man. "DO I REALLY LOOK THAT APPETIZYING TO YOU?"

"Do you really want** me to answer that?"** Zetsu smirked.

I twitched and turned my back on him. "Damn Venus Flytrap dude…"

"Well, Keiko-san, will you please take us down there?" Konan asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. She sounded at least partly concerned about me and Miyu being scared to go down there, which made me feel intensely better.

"I guess I can. We'll just try to man up." I nodded. I began to walk down the stairs with the Akatsuki following me, humming "God Knows" from the anime _The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya_ to help me feel calmer. Oh, I shoulder get this out of the way before I continue telling you guys my adventure; I like the animes/mangas _Fullmetal Alchemist, Tokyo Mew Mew, Naruto, Fruits Basket, Rozen Maiden, Shugo Chara!, _and I've read up to volume four of_ The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya._ I mostly just like the songs from that series.** (A/N: That hole statement is true, I really do like all those series.)**

Finally, we all made it down to the large meeting room. The heavy atmosphere seemed to be choking me almost, and I had to take a few deep breathes before I said into the empty space, "Anybody in here?" My voice echoed back at me, seeming to mock me.

"No one's here," Pein said smugly. "Maybe you scared them off?"

I rounded on the walking pin cushion angrily, spitting out at him, "Look, I wouldn't scare them! I'm not a full witch yet, they could totally kick my ass-"

"Keiko, behind you!" I leapt away at the sound of Miyu's warning. In the place where I had been standing was now a large slab of rock, evidently there to have killed me. Great, so now I have a bounty hunter after me?

"Well, well, seems the little brat passed her test. Who would've thought?" I know that voice. I know that voice very well. Oh my God, this is so not happening.

Stepping from behind the rock was Luna Amore, looking very…evil. Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, FUCK!

"Luna-sama, what's going on?" I demanded.

"Foolish little brat. We're taking the Akatsuki's abilities now. Thank you very much for bringing them here, but I'm afraid your reward shall be…death!" With that, the older witch swung her staff at me and I was suddenly covered with stone. It hurt and constricted me as I squirmed.

"You bitch!" I snarled. "Let me go!"

"Nope. I quite enjoy watching your feeble struggling." Luna smirked. Aria Lied appeared next to her, looking evil as well.

"Aria-sama…you're on this too?" I starred in utter shock at the two elders as anger bubbled up in me.

"Of course I am." Aria shrugged. "It's quite easy making younger witches' tasks into things that we can benefit. Like yours, for instance. Now we shall gain the Akatsuki's powers for our own, and we'll be the most feared witches of all time!"

"Are Zakuro and Kitsune a part of this as well?" I asked quietly, fearing the answer.

Aria and Luna snickered, and Aria said "No, those dimwits could never hope to understand our ways. We never will allow them to share in the delicious triumph of stealing another witch's power."

"Wait, I thought you said you'd take the Akatsuki's power, not mine!" I gulped in terror.

"Oh, well…it's your power that's fueling them in this world. Taking their power takes away yours." Luna explained smugly. "Now, prepare to die."

Aria waved her staff and I bubble of water enveloped itself around my head. They were using their sacred affinity with the elements to kill me, to commit a serious offense against witches everywhere! How dare they disobey the great Goddess of the Earth!

Before the breath disappeared in me, I screamed loudly so the Akatsuki and Miyu would hear, "Guys, RUN!"

But instead of running, the all just stood there, their mouths moving. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I was starting to feel very weak suddenly. And then, my rock/water prison broke and I slumped to the ground feeling dizzy.

"What…?" I whispered, the dizziness becoming overwhelming. Miyu bounded over to me, looking worried. "Keiko, are you all right? Can you hear me?" I feebly nodded and tried to get up, but I couldn't.

"Tobi, grab Keiko and let's get out of here!" Konan yelled. Tobi came over and effortlessly slung me over his shoulder. "Sempai, grab the kitty!" Deidara picked up Miyu, and suddenly we were all running.

Well, the Akatsuki were running. Miyu and I were being carried.

"Tobi…how did you guys break the spell?" I whispered, not sure if he could hear me over the sound of pounding steps.

He looked down at me and I could see a red Sharingan eye through the eyehole in his mask. "We used you power you gave us to create make-shift jutsu to break it, I guess."

And then I couldn't help it.

I fainted for the second time in the same day.

_**Whew, that was a long chapter! And kinda dramatic. So, you guys didn't expect Luna and Aria actually to be evil bitches, did you? MUAHAHAHAHAHA! I am so good at leading you on! Don't worry, Zakuro and Kitsune will not turn evil. I at least won't be that cruel. Oh, I've narrowed it down to who Keiko will end up with I think! Deidara, Tobi, or Sasori. Take your pick, you guys! As always, thank you for the reviews so far! **_


	5. It's Not Rape Until You Say BANANAS!

_**Chapter 5**_

_**Heh, last chapter was pretty dramatic, huh? And it's not even at chapter 10 yet! XD I'm amazing if I do say so myself. Welp, I don't really have anything for this chapter, so I'll just go with the flow. Oh, and here's a motto for all of you to live your lives by: Peanut Butter is always the answer.**_

It was two days later until I woke up. According to Miyu, I was sleeping off the shock of finding out that Aria and Luna were evil, and the fact that the Akatsuki had used my energy to make a justu to free me from their evil clutches. Evidently, they had to use my magic to make their jutsus. Which makes sense in a way, since witches' magic use their energy, and ninjas' jutsus use chakra. Maybe it's all really the same thing, with just different names. I don't know. And now I'm rambling. I'll shut up now.

…

…

…

Eh, I really need to organize my mind. It just keeps going off in different directions. If anyone knows if they make brain file cabinets, tell me!** (A/N: No, seriously, I need one of those. Or two. Or a hundred.)**

"Keiko, I think we need to get out of Japan," Miyu said to me after I woke up from my coma. "Aria and Luna will come after the Akatsuki again, I'm sure of it."

"Yeah, but, shouldn't they have already come after them while I was unconscious?" I pointed out.

Miyu shrugged. "Maybe they're reassessing their tactics?"

"You know I hate it when you use big words like that."

"Okay; they're making a new plan." Miyu said slowly, annunciating each word as if she was talking to a baby.

"Ha-ha. Very funny." I deadpanned. I looked around my room, which was covered with various witchery items and an occasional anime poster or two. "Where's the Akatsuki?"

"They're hiding in the basement."

"…We have a basement?"

"No, Keiko; the basement of the whole apartment complex. I found a spell that would make stairs from our apartment room to the basement appear." Miyu explained, pointing at a spell sheet on the bedside table.

"Ohhhh….you're so smart!" I grinned and patted Miyu on the head. "Now, let's go rally the troops and try to find a new place to live."

"You got it, Bossy-chan."

"…'Bossy-chan'?" I gave Miyu an odd look as I slid out of my bed and put clothes on.

Miyu shrugged. "I'm going through a list of nicknames to call you. Should I cross that one off the list, then?"

"Yeah, you should." I nodded, pulling on socks.

"Okay…how about Bitchy-Witchy?"

"…that is NOT funny at ALL."

"It sure as hell is to me!"

"Just shut up, ya damn cat." I stuck my tongue out at her.

_**~Anyways, down in the magical basement~**_

When I got down to the basement, I was some-what surprised to see beds arranged in various places around the empty space. I say "some-what' because in my mind, I kind of expected something odd to be down here. I mean, it's the Akatsuki for God's sake! They're …odd! But awesome. Yep, totally and completely awesome.

"So, you guys make yourselves at home?" I asked, grinning at the Akatsuki members. They were all lounging on the beds reading or doing something else.

"Yes, we did," Itachi nodded at me. He was the closest, and believe it or not…he was reading a volume of Naruto. Hey, that's mine! Wait…that's the…

"Itachi, gimme that!" I snatched the manga out of his hands and studied it. Sure enough, it was the volume where Sasuke killed Itachi. Oh…shit.

"Itachi, where did you get this?" I asked angrily, pointing to the manga book. The Uchiha shrugged nonchalantly. "From your room. I've read it three times already."

…?

"So…you know you…"

"Die?" Itachi finished for me.

I gulped and nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Yes." Itachi took the book from me and began to read it again. "We all took this books and read them. Look around you."

Sure enough, I was practically surrounded by a group of sadistic and cruel criminals that were all reading about their painful demises.

"WHY?" I demanded angrily. "Why the hell would you read about your deaths?"

Hidan and Kakuzu looked up from the manga book they were sharing. **(A/N: yaoi fangirls, no, they aren't doing anything kinky. I just KNOW you'd be thinking about that, since I said they were sharing something.) **Hidan smirked at me and elbowed Kakuzu. "Kakuzu-teme, seems the little bitch is fucking worried about us, eh?" Kakuzu nodded and went back to reading.

I walked over to Sasori and snatched his manga out of his hands. "Damn Sakura…why couldn't Chiyo had helped you and left her to die? She's a bitch! A pink, annoying bitch."

"You don't like the little pink brat?" Sasori asked in surprise.

"Of course not! She is the cause of the whole series' demise! …okay, not really, but I just hate her. DIE PINKY PIG, DIE!" I pantomimed stabbing the page of the manga with Sakura on it.

Sasori smiled, which was weird, and patted my hand. "I think we'll get along great, since we share an intense hatred for Sakura Haruno."

O. M. G. Sasori just touched me. Sure it was just my hand, but still…HE'S A HOT PUPPET AND HE TOUCHED MY HAND! YAY!

Hiding my happiness, I made my way to Deidara. "So…you know that your art killed you, right?"

Before he could answer, Sasori called out, "I always said he'd die by explosions."

"Shut the hell up, un!" Deidara yelled. He then looked at me. "This stuff is true, right?"

"Uh…well…" I scratched my head, trying to think of a way to explain it. "I guess so. I mean, the series didn't really happen in real life, but now…I guess it did. For you guys, anyway. Gah, this is confuzzling!"

Deidara rose an eyebrow at "confuzzling". "…confuzzling, un?"

Holy shit, that sounded so smexy when he added "un" to that. I think I may squee with joy. Okay, Keiko, you can control the raging fangirl inside you…just keep it together.

"It's a word I made up. It basically means 'confusing' but, c'mon, 'confuzzling' is much funner to say." I explained with a grin, then moved over to Kisame. "And you get killed by Killer Bee! You're head gets chopped off!" **(A/N: Sorry if that chapter isn't into a manga book yet, I'm not sure. I just know that's how he died. I stopped paying attention to the series after Deidara and Itachi died, and every now and then I get someone to tell me what's going on.)**

The blue shark man glared at me. "Yes, thank you for putting that so bluntly."

I grinned and gave him a thumbs up. "Glad to be of service, nya!" I covered my mouth when the Japanese equivalent for "meow" popped out. "Oops, sorry. Sometimes I just randomly say 'nya'. I guess it's like Deidara and his 'un'. Or Naruto and his 'dattebayo'."

"Hear that, Blondie? You're finally not the only one besides the Kyuubi brat with a speech impediment!" Kisame said smugly. Deidara just glared at him.

Last along the line of characters reading about their deaths was Pein. He was just staring into space while Konan spoke to him in hushed tones, the manga book beside him. I gently picked up the manga and said, "Pein? You okay?"

The Akatsuki leader looked at me with dim eyes. "…that damn Jinchuriiki kills me. Naruto fucking Uzumaki KILLS me." Konan pursed her lips in worry. "Pein, it's okay. We're here, away from him. You'll be fine."

"Like hell I will!" Pein snapped, his eyes suddenly blazing. He leapt up on his feet and addressed the whole Akatsuki. "Here, there are new threats to worry about. Like those old hags wanting to take our chakra! And it's all because of you!" At "you" Pein pointed directly at me. "If you hadn't brought us here, we would've gone on happily with our criminal lives!"

"…'happily'?" I stared at him straight in the eyes. "You call what you guys did living HAPPILY? Bull shit! You all wanted something different, don't deny it!"

"What are you talking about?" Pein demanded angrily. "How would you know? According to you, we were just created. We shouldn't even exist here! How do you know what we wanted from we did; we were CREATED to do the things we did!"

"Because…because!" I spat out, clenching my fists. "You weren't just created, Pein. You aren't just an anime character to me. Or to thousands of other people. To us, you're…you're…You're as real as we are!" I pointed to myself. "You have flesh and blood, like I do! You live, love, think, eat, and sleep like I do! You're human, and you're not just black ink on paper, or tiny little pixels inside a TV."

Every single Akatsuki member stared at me in shock as I ended my rant. To be honest, I myself had no idea I had that in me. Maybe I should be a motivational speaker. Finally Zetsu, the oh-so-wise mystical plant man, said, "Wow. You really** can make moving speeches.** Have you ever considered being** a motivational speaker?"**

…holy crap, he can read my mind. That's some-what frightening. And cool in a weird way. God dammit, I'm rambling again! Maybe I should get a mind filter for my brain or something…? Crap, I'm still rambling!

Shaking my head to rid it of my self-argument, I planted my feet down and stated, "Well, all of that was heartfelt. Now, we need to find somewhere out of Japan to hide from Aria and Luna until we can think of a plan to defeat them, those damn traitors!" Red hot anger bubbled up in me. "I will not stand for this! The Goddess's gifts to us witches are not to be taken lightly! They will pay for their heinous acts!"

Miyu explained to the Akatsuki while I continued my rant, "When something scandalous like this happens, it's the witch law for the criminal to be stripped of her powers. But, since the perpetrators are part of the Witch Council itself…I don't know what will happen. This is all very worrisome."

"Damn right it is! I will stop at nothing until I make sure every living witch knows about this scandal!" I said hotly, marching to and fro, thinking. "Hey…can we go to America?"

"America?" Miyu's fur raised up on her hind legs. "But that's where…that's where…"

"What's in America, Keiko-chan?" Tobi asked cutely, tilting his head. AW, SO DAMN ADORABLE! KAWAII~! GLOMP HIM, KEIKO! GLOMP HIM NOW! DO IT!

Ignoring my evil inner-fangirl, I grinned and patted Tobi on the shoulder. "Tobi-kun, my friend, America is a land of great opportunities, fast food, and crazy, psychotic rapists."

"…what's a rapist?" Tobi asked Deidara, who in turn stammered, "W-when you're older, un!"

"A rapist is what Keiko would be to you guys if she had the guts to!"Miyu said with absolutely no filter on her choice of words what so ever.

As an emo cloud of doom descended upon me due to the Akatsuki's terrified looks, Miyu added "It's not rape until you say 'BANANAS'!"

"Miyu, I hate you," I muttered, avoiding the Akatsuki's burrowing gaze.

"I know you love me, I love you too."

And so, our quest for a new home in America furiously began! HUZZAH!

…I just hoped things would work out.

_**Man, maybe I should change this from Humor/Supernatural to Drama/Supernatural…Ah well, the dramatic stuff is gone for the most part now! And yes, I realize I've updated quite a lot, but I'm trying to get a lot of this story up before school starts in less than two weeks! Anyways, read and review! Love you all!**_


	6. Miyu Explains Things! YAY!

_**Chapter 6**_

_**Okay first off I forgot to mention something: Sometimes I will name chapters something completely random and off topic. Like chapter five was It's Not Rape Until You Say "BANANAS!". The chapter only had a slight mention of that sentence, but I just felt like naming it that for humorous purposes only. Anyways, enjoy chapter 6 please~!**_

Well, after the "rape" comment Miyu made, it was safe to say the Akatsuki pretty much despised me now. Except for Tobi, because he had no idea what that meant. I bet Madara did though. Stupid two-face bipolar little lollipop boy…

But, on the bright side, no one would be bothering me as I made a large-scale teleportation spell to take us to America! The only problem is…

Where should I make the spell take us to in America? One of the big cities, or a small countryside town where hardly anyone will know about anime?

Sigh…why must it be such a big dilemma, nya…?

"Miyu…can you c'mere for a second?" I asked, yawning loudly. I'd been up all night trying to make this spell, and all I needed was the location.

"Sure," Miyu hopped up on my desk and curled up in a ball. "What do you need, Keiko?"

"Where should we land in America?"

"…we're sailing to America? I thought we were teleporting!"

"WE ARE YOU NIMROD!" I smacked the cat familiar off the table in anger. "WHY WOULD WE TAKE A BOAT?"

"Ow…" Miyu rubbed her head her with her paws, her ears twitching. "Well, you said 'land' so I thought that meant we'd be landing a boat somewhere on the coast." She looked back to me. "But frankly, I have no idea where we should end up at. Somewhere nice?"

I sighed dejectedly and slumped back down in my seat, blowing out a puff of air and then laying my head down on the wooden desk. "I don't know either, that's why I was asking you."

Miyu sighed also, leaping back up on the desk and wrapping her tail around my wrist comfortingly. "How about Canada? There are practically no laws in that place! Plus, I here it's nice around this time of the year."

"Canada?" I lifted my head up and stared at Miyu. "…nah. It just doesn't ring right in my ears. Uwah, why must this be so hard, nya?"

"You know, even though I'm the cat and you're the human, why do YOU say 'nya' and I don't?" Miyu asked, annoyance clear in her tone of voice.

"Fine, I'll say 'desu' instead." I deadpanned back at her. "Desu, desu, desu, desu, desu, desu-"

"I get it; you want to say 'nya'! I'll shut up about it!" Miyu laughed as I chanted 'desu' over and over again.

I smiled lightly and rubbed the sweet spot under her chin, causing the cat to purr with delight. "I'm sorry, Miyu. I'm being a bitch, aren't I? It's just…all of this is so hard. Why did I even want to become a witch in the first place again?"

"Must we go into flashback mode?" Miyu asked.

"For the sake of the readers, no. Let's just explain it in a quick explanation, okay?" I said.

"All righty!" Suddenly then whole background changed from my room to a class room, and Miyu was in a teacher's outfit complete with one of the pointer sticks. I was sitting in the front row and wearing a school girl's uniform, which was weird. She stood on the desk and pointed to the chalk board. "Listen up all you readers of Hocus Pocus no Justu! Keiko wanted to become a witch ever since she was a little girl because her mother was a witch, while her dad was a regular human. Despite those odds, the two were a very happy couple. So, Keiko was always surrounded by magic due to her mother. That's the reason why little Keiko wanted to pursue the career of witchery; to be like her mother. Even though her mother told her the path to becoming a witch was long and difficult, Keiko wanted to do it. As a child she would wake up with the same sentence every day: 'I'll be a witch better than Mommy-chan, nya~!'"

"Anything else you want to add, Miyu-sensei?" I asked teasingly.

Miyu thought for a moment, and then brightened. "Oh yeah! How me and Keiko met! Well, when Keiko graduated from witch grade school, they gave her a choice of familiars to pick from! There were frogs, bats, rats, a horse, bunnies, and…me! And she picked me! Because we're cute!" Miyu grinned, her sharp feline teeth glinting. "And that concludes this week's episode of 'Miyu Explains Things About Hocus Pocus no Justu! Come and join us next, okay?" Miyu flashed another grin, and did a peace sign. "Miyu-Cat over and out, NYA~!"

The school-room scenery died and we were back in my room. I stared at Miyu, a "WTF?" look plastered on my face. "…how'd you do that?"

"Do what?" She asked innocently.

"Change my room! That was awesome!"

"Keiko, we familiars have all sorts of little secrets." Miyu patted my head. "That was just one of them."

"That's not fair~!" I whined. "You and I should know everything about each other, nya!"

"Sorry, it's the way we familiars work," Miyu apologized. "Now, pushing that issue aside, let's try to find a place to live in America all ready."

"Yeah, you're right…" I sighed again. "I think I'm starting to turn emo from all the sighing I've done today."

"An emo Keiko is scarier than the rapist Keiko," Miyu said cheerfully, narrowly dodging my slap and landing gracefully on my head. "Nya ha ha ha ha!" **(A/N: BTW, the reviewer called FlamingSnowpaw made me laugh when she said "Rapist Keiko rules!" So what Miyu just said is dedicated to you, Flaming-Snowpaw-san.)**

"Just stop making fun of me and my raping needs." I muttered. "I like the Akatsuki, okay? They're hot. I'm not the only girl who wants to rape them."

"You wanna rape Konan too then?"

"EW! OF COURSE NOT!" I yelled, blushing. "No yuri in this story, Miyu! Yaoi is allowed, but not yuri!"** (A/N: Yay for the parodic form of SasuNaru! XD)**

"Hehehe, sorry! Couldn't resist!" Miyu giggled.

Suddenly, I got an idea. A very good idea. A very, very, VERY good idea.

"Miyu, I know where we can live!" I grinned, my eyes burning with anticipation. I pumped my fists up in the air and yelled, "We're going to new York City! BOOYAH!"

"UWAH~? Why?" Miyu asked nervously.

I grinned in embarrassment, blushing. "Um, well, because… there are big anime conventions there…and I wanna go!"

Miyu sighed. "Fiiiine…New York City it is then."  
"YAY!" I glomped the cat happily. "Let's go tell the Akatsuki, nya~!"

And so, Miyu the cat familiar and I, Keiko Furiyama, witch-in-training still, were off to New York City with the Akatsuki in tow.

Let's hope this trip goes well, and I don't rape them on accident…

_**Yeah, sorry the chapter was short. I couldn't think of anything. And sorry about the Akatsuki not being in this chapter. I mainly wanted this one to be about how Keiko wanted to be a witch, and how she and Miyu met. I promise the next chapter shall be better! Review please, and I love you all nya~!**_


	7. Kitty Troubles, nya?

_**Chapter 7**_

_**Hey guys, I'm at 27 reviews now! THANK YOU SO MUCH! XD And I had an awesome dream that I actually meet Keiko last night, so this chapter will kinda have what happened in the dream. Minus me being in it. I'm sure you all will like it. :3**_

"All right! So, everybody got what's going to happen, right?" I asked, looking to each of the Akatsuki in turn. "I'll recap; I'll send us to New York City in the U.S. and we'll live out there. I made arrangements with an old friend of mine for an apartment, so we won't need to worry about finding a house. Sadly, we all have to get jobs. But I'm sure we can suck that up. Am I right, troops?"

"Troops? We're not your troops, un." Deidara grunted.

"Well, we're all in this together, so…" I shrugged, and then frowned when that gay High School Musical song came into my head. _We're all in this together, and we know how to blah blah blah blah…_ Damn Disney songs. Well, the new ones. The old classic ones were all right. Ahem, rambling again. Sorry.

"Keiko-chan, are you almost done with your spell?" Tobi asked excitedly jumping up and down. I grinned at his hyperness and patted his head. "Yep! Just need to make the incantation now. Since we're going somewhere so far away, I need to make an incantation. Magic is so complicated sometimes, nya."

"Well, just hurry it up," Kakuzu huffed. "Or else you'll have some very unhappy ninjas on your hands." He was looking at Hidan when he said this, because the Jashinist had been complaining the whole time.

"Remember: We will** eat you if you** don't get** this done."** Zetsu said happily. Okay, I'm pretty sure now he just threatens me with eating me just to piss me off.

"Go eat some trash instead." I suggested brightly.

"Hahaha, very funny** BRAT."**

I stuck my tongue out at the plant man and grinned. "Hey, to keep you guys occupied, here's my laptop." I handed Itachi my baby with pride. "Just do whatever you want. I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out." Saluting the troops, I headed back to my room with Miyu hot on my trail.

"Miyu~!" I sang happily, flopping down on my bed. "I have a feeling this will all end well, nya!"

"Me too! YAY~!" Miyu bounced up and down, causing me to stare at her. "Uh…you okay?"

Miyu grinned and twirled in a circle. "I found that catnip you were hiding in the cupboard…"

I gulped. Miyu high on catnip equals bad things. "J-just come over here, sit down, and we'll gently float away into dreamland, okay?" The cat nodded dizzily and took a few seconds to make her way across my bedroom floor to the bed, hopping up and narrowly falling off. She sat down, swaying to and fro like a pendulum. I couldn't help but giggle, and soon the high as a kite cat was passed out on my bed.

This is why I never give the little fur ball catnip, except on her birthday and holidays.

Anyway, I concentrated on an incantation, and soon I could hear odd music coming from the basement. It sounded like… "Superstar" from the music group ToyBox. …I love that group! **(A/N: ToyBox is a music group who made really bouncy songs. I love them, and I wish they were still making songs. They're kinda like Aqua. You know who Aqua is, right? Well, she made the song "Barbie Girl". And if you don't know that song, I pity your poor little heart.)**

"Guys, what's going…on…?" I asked when I headed down the stairs, pausing to see Itachi in the corner brooding from…shame? The Akatsuki were crowded around the laptop, laughing their criminal asses off. I saw what was on the screen and almost fell down laughing myself. The Akatsuki had somehow managed to find YouTube and find a video called "Itachi the Superstar", which was this really funny fan-made video that somebody drew and animated about Itachi being…a superstar. Sure enough, the song used in it was "Superstar" by ToyBox.** (A/N: Seriously, look up this video. It's HYSTERICAL.)**

"Okay, who found the video?" I asked, barely able to contain my laughter. Kisame raised his hand. "I did! I'm like the master of this thing! I can control it! Muahahahaha…" I high fived Kisame and snorted back a laugh that almost escaped. "Well, I got the incantation all figured out, so we should get going." I looked over at Emo-Uchiha-Boy and grinned. "That means you too, Itachi."

"I'm not a superstar…I'm a great cruel ninja…not some half-witted gay man who struts around saying he's 'naughty'…" Itachi muttered as if in a trance. Poor guy. The video must have really fucked him up psychologically.

"I think we killed Itachi's brain," Hidan said loudly. "Serves him right, the fucking bastard!"

"Hidan, just shut up and get upstairs," Kakuzu growled. The Jashinist grumbled angrily, but followed the flood of Akatsuki members up the stairs, minus Itachi. And Deidara, who for some reason was staying behind.

"Uh, Deidara? What do you want?" I asked.

The blonde bombshell smirked. "I enjoy watching Itachi suffer, un."

"Go upstairs." I deadpanned, pointing to the stairs. "I'm going to try to rouse Itachi out of his…emo faze."

"No way! I'm watching, un!" Deidara stubbornly crossed his arms.

I sighed. "Fine, do what you want." I shook Itachi by the shoulders. "Itachi, we're going to go now. Stop being an emo little wussy and suck it up that your fangirls enjoy making you look adorable."

Itachi glared at me. "Just never let those bastards handle that thing again." He was talking about my laptop.

I patted his head like he was a doggy. "Okay, I won't. Now let's go."

_**~Upstairs With Us All~**_

"All righty now, everyone in the circle! That's right…okay." I took out my incantation I'd written down and took a deep breath, then grabbed the still passed out Miyu off the bed and shoved her in Deidara's arms. He gave me a questioning look. "She got high on catnip enough said. Ahem…" I looked at the paper and began to chant:

_New York City Is the place we need to go_

_Let us go there through either rain or snow_

_We must escape from the evils that are at hand_

_Escape into this unknown land_

Pausing for an effect, I then grinned and added, once more, "HOCUS POCUS NO JUTSU, NYA~!" I guess that was now going to be my thing after I recite a spell.

There was a bright flash and suddenly we were all standing in a cute little park, which must have been where my friend had been talking about. She said that there was a teleportation circle under the grass, and that if a witch wanted to transport herself to New York City, they'd end up there.** (A/N: I'll introduce Keiko's friend later. Is she a witch? Or a human? You'll have to read on to find out, nya!)**

"Everyone in one piece, nya?" I asked, turning around to face the Akatsuki. It seemed we were all alone in the park, which was a good thing.

"Yeah." Pein nodded. "I think we survived that spell- HOLY SHIT KEIKO!"

"What? Is there a spider on me? I hate them, nya!" I yelped, brushing myself off hysterically.

"N-no…on your head…and your butt…" Pein pointed a trembling finger at me.

My…butt? That pervert! "Konan, knock some sense into Pein! It's perverted to be looking at a girl's butt, nya!" I hissed. Wait…I actually just hissed…like a cat.

"There are ears and a tail on you." Itachi said emotionlessly.

…

"?" I cautiously put my hands up on my head. I could feel two furry triangles that had graced themselves atop my cranium. Moving my hands down, I felt a long tail coming out of…my butt.

"HOLY SHIT I TURNED INTO A NEKO GIRL, NYA! THAT'S SO COOL, NYA~!" I ran around- well, more like bounded on all fours- and hyperly screamed.

"Well…I can't say I was expecting that, un." I heard Deidara deadpan in an annoyed tone.

"Keiko-chan looks kawaii!" Tobi squealed. "Can Tobi pet Keiko-chan?"

"Tobi, I suggest staying clear away from the cat bitch." Hidan pulled the hyper orange cupcake away from me. "She may claw you."

"I'mma kitty-cat, nya! A kitty-cat~!" I giggled. "NYA~!"

"No you're annoying is what you are," Deidara said. "Stop saying 'nya', un!"

"I will when you stop saying 'un', nya!"

"I can't!"

"Then shut up, nya!"

"Will both of you shut up so we can find that place Keiko was talking about?" Kakuzu ordered sternly. "You're giving me a head ache."

"Kakuzu's right, nya," I nodded. "We need to find those apartments. But, sadly, I saw my own tail and started to…chase…it. Like a cat. Get it?

"Keiko-chan, hey~!" A familiar voice suddenly called out, interrupting my…cat fest.

I gasped and happily stood up, forgetting my cat attributes. "Yuki-chan~!"

And just like that, I was reunited with my old best friend from my younger days.

_**Hahaha, I just couldn't resist calling Keiko's friend Yuki! If you haven't read our story **__**Why Criminals Make Bad **__**Teachers, you wouldn't get that reference. Anyway, in my dream, Keiko really did sprout cat ears and a cat tail. So, I put it in here. And she made fun of Itachi by showing him that YouTube video. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter! Next chapter will explain who Yuki is better, just be patient! Love you all!**_


	8. The Allmighty Authorsama

_**Chapter 8**_

_**Hey everybody, I got bad news: starting now, I won't update each day because I'll be busy. But I have good news! I found a website called "TinerMe" and got a profile on it. My name's NyaDesuDesu. Come help me figure it out if you have a profile on there, too! XD Anyways…We have the return of "Miyu Explains Things" in this chapter, and I will explain who Yuki is. XD Enjoy~!**_

"Who's Yuki?" Deidara asked as I hugged my old friend. The rest of the Akatsuki chimed in there question.

I grinned. "Yuki Hiragi, nya! She's my old best friend from when we were in witch school together!" Yuki flashed them all a peace sign. Yuki was 21, two years older than me. She had jet-black curly hair that reached her ankles. Don't ask how she kept it that long, because I don't know. Yuki wore a simple white t-shirt that proclaimed she was "Team Jacob"** (A/N: Just to get this out of the way: I like Twilight, but I don't obsess over it. And yes, Jacob is better than Edward. Sorry.)** and she also wore black denim shorts. Her hair was done in two pigtails, and she looked adorable as always. Her green eyes flashed as she hugged me again. "I'm so happy to see you, Keiko!"

"I'm happy to see you too!"

"Ugh…wha's goin' on…" Miyu's voice suddenly slurred. We looked over at her, who was still in Deidara's arms. Miyu looked at Yuki and instantly brightened. "Does this mean it's time for another episode of 'Miyu Explains Things'?"

I nodded. "Yep, nya! Go ahead, Miyu."

"YESH!" Miyu leapt out of Deidara's arms and once again the whole scenery changed to a school-like setting. This time I, Yuki, and the Akatsuki were all in school uniforms and sitting in desks. Might I add that a certain blonde member of the criminal group looked absolutely hot in a uniform? **(A/N: You all know who…XD)**

"Listen up everyone! It's time for Miyu Explains Things, Episode Two!" Miyu announced, garbed in her glasses and armed with the teacher pointer stick once more. "This here is Yuki Hiragi, Keiko's old friend. I will now give you her back ground. Yuki, stand up and smile pretty for everyone, will you?"

Yuki nodded and grinned at us all. The Akatsuki gasped as two sharp fangs poked out from Yuki's mouth. "Yuki is a vampire. Well, half-vampire. Her mother was a vampire and her father was a warlock. She took witchery classes two years before Keiko, and was assigned to help Keiko around for Keiko's first year." Miyu explained. "Surprisingly enough, her mixed blood didn't pose any problems against learning magic. She's a great witch."

Hidan raised his hand, a confuzzled look on his face. "Uh…why the fuck is she here?"

"This is where I was assigned, you dip stick," Yuki smacked Hidan across the head. "Duh."

"Ahem…anyway…she's going to help us settle in here, and overall stop Aria and Luna." Miyu said with an air of finality. "And that has been Miyu Explains Things, Episode Two! Peace out everyone, nya~!" The cat flashed a peace sign, and the whole scenery changed back to the park.

"Whoa…that was weird…" Sasori held his head, obviously dizzy.

"You'll get used to it." Miyu shot at him. I guess she's touchy about her….show?

"Hey, I got another question;" Hidan said. "What's a warlock? And…why the fuck are there so many monsters here?"

"Another episode of Miyu Explains Things shall take care of that," Miyu happily said, cracking her paws. I shook my head at her. "No, I'll explain this." I stood in front of the Akatsuki and explained: "You see, in this world, there's more than one….race, nya. The regular humans; vampires; warlocks, A.K.A wizards; werekind; sirens, A.K.A. mermaids; and lots of others. We all co-exist with the humans, nya."

"A warlock is a wizard, Hidan. A wizard is a male witch." Yuki explained for the Jashinist happily. "I just happen to be a witch with vampire and warlock blood."

"That's…sugoi!" Tobi said, his eyehole sparkling.

"So, can anyone explain why Keiko now adorns cat extensions?" Itachi asked, mostly to Yuki.

"Oh, I know why!" Miyu jumped up and down. We all looked to her, and she puffed up with excitement. I think the catnip is still in her system… "Well, I'm her familiar and a cat. However, I was passes out while she did the teleportation, and it's a rule that all witches must make sure their familiars are attentive during a spell or else there are…side effects."

"And the side effect for Keiko was that she got cat ears?" Pein asked.

"And a tail, nya!" I added, fluffing my tail and petting it. "It's so soft, nya~…"

"Anyways…" Yuki grinned to us all, her vampire fangs sparkling. "Welcome to the Big Apple! Follow me to your hopes and dreams!"

"YAY!" I glomped her happily. "To the hopes and dreams, nya!'

"Wait a minute, un!" Deidara demanded, pointing to Yuki. "Won't she try to suck our blood?"

Yuki crossed her arms and huffed out, "I will not! I'm a dhampir, a HALF-vampire. I only need to suck blood when I'm very weak. Other than that, I eat like a regular human."

"Isn't it illegal for vampires and humans to do the nasty?" Kisame asked, completely breaking Yuki's happy mood.** (A/N: Thank you, Kisame, for putting that so bluntly.)**

"YOU BASTARD!" Yuki punched the poor sushi man, and he sailed into a tree. GO vamp strength! "That's complete shit! It's not true, ya hear?" She grumbled to me, "And to think I used to be that guy's fangirl…"

Oh, yeah! Yuki is a Narutard too! She loves the Akatsuki just as much as I do!

While Itachi was tending to his fallen partner, Yuki explained to the rest of the Akatsuki, "Vampire and humans weren't allowed to…'do the nasty' back during the medieval times, but after this big supernatural war we monster species had with the humans, we all made up. So, don't believe all the taboos about vamps. We can still kick your asses. Even if I'm just a half-vampire."

"Yuki, you should get your own show too!" Miyu said. "Ask the author!"

Yuki looked up at the sky, A.K.A. the computer screen that the author is now looking at while typing. "Hey Author-sama, can I get an info show too?"

A female voice from the heavens , complete with a bright beam of light that shined down upon us all, answered, "Maybe! We'll see! Miyu's info show is enough to type, and I'm very lazy."

"Yeah, but…you update every day!"

"That's gonna change, 'cause I'll be busy. Sorry, Yuki."

"Fuck you." Yuki crossed her arms and stuck her tongue out at the stuck.

"I can erase you, you know!"

"Forgive me, oh great and powerful Author-sama!" Yuki bowed down, sweating. "I'M SORRY! I DUN' WANNA GET DELETED!"

"Then be patient and I'll see what I can do. Maybe it will be a magic info show with you and Keiko in it…" The author mused. "Yes my lovely readers, I may do that. But I'm lazy. Suck it up." And just like that, the magical voice and light was gone.

"That went well, nya!" I said brightly.

"Keiko, shut up." Yuki muttered.

"But we might get our own info show too, nya!"

"Yeah, well, I think I pissed off the author." Yuki said, an emo cloud appearing over her head.

Suddenly the voice and light was back. "No you didn't! I said I'll think about it! GAWD!" And once again, it disappeared.

"…how does she do that?" Yuki demanded.

I sweatdropped. "Uh, Yuki? She's the author; she is controlling what she's typing, which is us, nya. Duh."

"I knew that…" Yuki looked up at the sky again. "Then get me a boyfriend, damn you!" There was no answer this time, which I assumed meant that the author was just ignoring Yuki. **(A/N: *spoiler* Yuki will have a guy in this. I don't know who yet. But I have decided Keiko's guy, you'll have to figure it out from context clues. :P)**

"CAN WE JUST FUCKING GO ALREADY?" Hidan yelled angrily, an anger vein throbbing on his head.

"Yes, I just like stalling." Yuki grinned, skipping off. "Follow me, my lovely little popsicles~!"

"... 'popsicles'?" Sasori whispered to me.

I shrugged. "Yuki's crazy like me, nya. We'll just have to get used to it."

"Oh joy. More craziness." The puppet master smiled a bit when he said this though, and I giggled, pumping my fists in the air, "IN THE FACE OF ADVERISTY, CRAZINESS SHALL REIGN SUPREME, NYA~!"

"Oh Keiko," Sasori shook his head.

We kept walking through the city, passing various large skyscrapers and such. It looked like Tokyo basically! Only there were more rapists here. I could sense it. RAPIST-DAR, ACTIVATE! You know, like a gay-dar, only it's a rapist-dar! I am such an appealing character! Haha, that quote is from the LittleKuriboh version of naruto Abridged! You know what? I'm just gonna blurt out random quotes from that now.

**(A/N: The LittleKuriboh Naruto Abridged is actually quite good. I highly recommend it. There's fanservice~!)**

"HOLY SHIIIIIT! HE'S NOT A NINJA! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE, NYA?" I randomly screamed.

Yuki grinned, because she knew what was coming. "What is he like, a wizard or something? 'cause he's clearly not a ninja!"

"Sonny, your behind has an appointment with the back of my hand!"

"That is where you're wrong sir, because my behind happens to belong to Sasuke!"

We both fell down laughing, and laughed even harder when everyone around us just stared.

"What…the eff…un?" Deidara asked slowly.

"I THINK I PEED A LITTLE, NYA!" I yelled.

"WHAT?"

"What I wouldn't give to be that rice ball~!" Yuki said dreamily.

And so, we continued doing that while we made our way to Yuki's apartment complex, much to the Akatsuki's dismay. And when we finally made it to the housing place, we found something very bad.

Evidently…Aria and Luna had found us.

Oh sweet jumping crap.

_**Oh nuhz! Cliffie! What's gonna happen? Read on to find out, duh! LOL it was fun typing this chapter, as I'm sure you can tell. Anyway, this will be my last daily update. Gomen nasai for that, but I'll be busy for awhile now. Anyway, I'm going to add another character later on! It's Rose-chan's character that she wanted to be in here! Maybe Amaya will want one too, IDK. She's on vacation right now. Review, and I love you all!**_


	9. The Tale of the Goddess

_**Chapter 9**_

_**Guys, I have bad news….again. Next week I'll be doing volleyball camp, and going to a fair, and then….school? Basically, I won't have much update time. So, I'm trying to make this chapter longer. Again, I apologize for this. Blame the world for making us go to school. And my mother for making me do volleyball. So, please enjoy chapter nine, okay?**_

Well, it at least looked like Aria and Luna had found us. Around the apartment complex were a bunch of witches, and I recognized a few of them as being the Council's helpers. But when we all stopped to stare at them, guess who came out of the building?

That's right; Kitsune and Zakuro.

"That was very unexpected," Miyu said, blinking in surprise as the two elite witches walked to us. I swallowed the lump in my throat and bowed to Kitsune and Zakuro. "Kitsune-sama, Zakuro-sama, it's a…pleasure to see you. Here, nya. With me having no idea how you knew I was here. ….what's going on, nya?"

Kitsune hugged me tightly, causing me to be very surprised. "Thank the Goddess…You're all right. See, Zakuro, I told you we should have done something about those two hags earlier before this got out of hand!"

"WHAT?" Miyu exclaimed. "You mean you knew about Aria and Luna's plan for world domination?"

"Miyu, they never said anything about world domination, nya." I reminded her, still smooshed against Kitsune. She hugs like my mom! I like that! Kitsune has just become my second mother.  
"Well, I'm pretty sure that's their ultimate motive."

"Ahem!" Zakuro interrupted us, and Kitsune took that as a command to let go of me. "I will explain to you what is going on. Please listen, because I will not repeat myself."

"Yes, ma'am." Me, Yuki, and Miyu chorused. We glared at the Akatsuki, and they repeated the sentence.

"Kitsune and I found out about Aria and Luna's plan about a year ago, when Kitsune first joined the ranks of the Witches Council." Zakuro began. "We overheard them one day, and they were…the way they explained themselves was very disturbing. It seems that they need the powers of young witches to keep themselves younger, and ultimately, boost their own magical abilities. But…"

Here Kitsune took the conversation over. "It didn't last very long, and they had to continue draining many witches. We believe that they are thinking of resurrecting Akuma, which means an apocalypse for not only witches, but humans and everything else living on this planet alike."

"A-akuma…?" I whispered. "They can't…they can't do that, nya!"

"Who's Akuma?" Pein asked. Finally the Akatsuki speak!

Yuki turned to the leader of the Akatsuki, a worried look plastered on her normally care-free face. "Not 'who'- 'what'. Back in the beginning of the birth of the race known as 'witches', Akuma was a very powerful demon. It commanded the witches to worship it." **(A/N: Yeah, yeah. I know. Naming a demon Akuma. But I can't think of any other name!)**  
"Wait, I thought you worshipped a 'goddess', un." Deidara pointed out.

"We do."

"Then why are you saying that you worship this Akuma thing?"

"Deidara, can you just shut the hell up and let her finish, nya?" I demanded, losing my cool. This whole ordeal about Aria and Luna possibly attempting to resurrect Akuma was setting me on edge, and sadly, I felt I would be taking it out on the Akatsuki.

Deidara looked down and shut up, and the rest of the Akatsuki took that as their cue to not interrupt Yuki as she explained what Akuma was.

"We used to worship Akuma. Before 'she' sealed him." Yuki looked up to the sky. "Our goddess, the greatest witch ever born; Megami. Megami confronted Akuma and challenged the creature to a duel. Megami won at the last moment and sealed Akuma away somewhere, but at a price. She gave up her life to do this magical procedure. So, in honor of her sacrifice, we witches made her our goddess. We dedicate everything we are to Megami." **(A/N: Again, I know. Megumi means goddess in Japanese and I named the witch goddess Megumi. I have absolutely no other names though.)**

"Without Megami's courage, we would still be under the influence of Akuma," I added. "We truly are in her debt, nya."

"You two certainly know your history," Zakuro said. Her tone was…proud? Not of herself, but…proud of us. I've never heard that tone of voice on her. Or the look that was on her face right at that moment. It was calm, soft, proud, happy…It was the face of someone who loved her Goddess, but loved her fellow witches, and would do anything to protect them.

"Well, we adore our Goddess; we should know her history." I pointed out.

"Well said," Kitsune patted me on the back. "I sure am happy that you and Yuki are our sister witches. You bring honor to the whole race with your love for Megami-sama."

"Thank you," Yuki and I said, blushing from all the congratulatory remarks we were getting today. And from two of the Council members, nonetheless!

"So, why are you two here? You never really said that." Kisame said. Way to ruin the mood, fish sticks.

"We have been tracking Keiko's movement, and followed her to this place." Zakuro explained. "Tracking spells aren't too difficult, you know."

"Uh…yeah! I know!" Kisame went purple, which I assumed meant he was blushing. Poor guy, he was probably terrified at the aspect of being in front of two major witches like Kitsune and Zakuro.

"It's okay if you don't Kisame." Yuki smiled at him. "It's not your fault you're retarded in the ways of witchery.

Yeah, she's still pissed at him for the "doing the nasty" remark.

"Are you two going to stay here, nya?" I asked, hoping the answer would be yes.

Kitsune and Zakuro looked at each other and sighed. "I'm afraid not, Keiko," Zakuro said sadly. "We must head back to the Council so Aria and Luna do not suspect our meeting with you."

"Wait, do they know I'm in New York City?" I asked, worry bubbling up in my chest.

"We don't think so; we believe they think you're hiding out in Tokyo somewhere. That's our hope, at least." Kitsune frowned. "We're sorry that we can't tell you everything will be all right."

"It's fine. I'm sure we all can get through this ordeal, nya." I said, looking to Yuki and Miyu for support. "I have my friends here!"

"And us, Keiko-chan!" Tobi took this opportunity to glomp me. "Tobi will protect Keiko-chan!"

"Thanks, Tobi. You're a big help, nya." I grinned and patted the lollipop boy on the head. "Now get off. You're embarrassing me, nya." Tobi got off of me with a salute and ran back to his place in the crowd of Akatsuki members.

"We can take care of that," Zakuro said out of the blue.

"What?" I asked, blinking in confusion.

She pointed to my ears and tail. "That. I assume they're side effects of doing magic without your familiar's supervision?"

"Uh…yeah, nya." I nodded.

"Well, we can get rid of it!" Kitsune said. "It'll be a piece of cake."

"No, no. It's fine. I like them, nya." I petted my ears and tail. "They make me feel cute. And I've never been cute."

"All right, if you insist." Zakuro nodded to Kitsune, and all the other helper witches. "Sisters, we are leaving now."

"Have a safe trip!" Yuki called out to them as they all stepped into a teleportation circle.

"And thank you for telling us about Aria and Luna, nya!" I added. When they vanished, I whispered, "Be safe…" even though I knew they couldn't hear me.

"I have another question; why the fuck don't they have familiars?" Hidan asked as soon as they disappeared.

"That's easy; they do have familiars, Hidan," Yuki answered patiently. "But full witches like them don't need to have their familiars tooling around with them all the time."

"What about you?" Sasori asked.

"I have a familiar! Kyou-kun! My bat!" Yuki grinned. "But I'm a full-fledged witch, so he's at home sleeping right now."

"We didn't know you were a full-fledged witch," Kakuzu said in surprise, glancing at Miyu. "A certain cat didn't mention it during her info show."

"That's because the author just thought of it now," Miyu said.** (A/N: Which I did.)**

"Oh." Kakuzu looked back to Yuki. "But it's a bat…and you're a vampire. That's original."

"Dhampir, people! I'm a DHAMPIR! Half-vampire!"

"Keiko, they didn't make you a full-fledged witch even though they saw us perfectly and knew that you succeeded in bringing us to life." Itachi said sharply, like he just realized it. "That's suspicious….they could be part of Aria and Luna coup!"

"I don't think so. Maybe I need to prove myself more, nya." I argued. I refused to believe Zakuro and Kitsune were evil also. **(A/N: Remember, they will NOT be evil. Just ignore Itachi and his cautiousness.) **

"You almost died; how much do you need to prove yourself, un?" Deidara asked. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he sounded very worried…Hm, that is very odd.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just kinda going with the flow here, nya."

"Well, can we get inside yet?" Yuki interrupted impatiently. "My show's gonna be on soon."

"Your show?" Miyu asked.

Yuki nodded and grinned. "Yep! _Fear Factor_…that show always makes me hungry for some reason. I have no idea why, because whenever they eat something, it's really disgusting."

"O-kaaay then…" Konan looked disturbed.

"Yeah, let's just go, nya." I agreed. "I'm tired and I wanna go to bed already. It's been a long day."

So, we entered the apartment complex and to our delight, found that is was the SHIZ. It was all cool looking, and mine even had a hot tub! "YUKI I LOVE YOU, NYA~!" I screamed in happiness, glomping Yuki once I saw my hot tub. "How'd you set this up?"

"I have people," Yuki shrugged nonchalantly, then smirked evilly. "But you will have to pay."

"…you never said anything about paying."

"Nope, 'cause I wanted to spring it on you at the last moment!"

"You're a bitch, nya."

"And yet you love me."

"…yeah."

"See how you are?" Yuki gave me a noogie on the head, avoiding my cat ears. "Anyway, the payment isn't that much. I'll tell you more tomorrow after you sleep. You look exhausted."

"Really? Well, this has only been the most stressful week of my entire life, nya. No wonder I look tired." I said sarcastically.

Yuki flashed me a peace sign. "Just making an observation."

"Yeah, okay…" I yawned and strectched. "I'm gonna go to bed now…Tell Kyou I'm sorry I couldn't see him before I conked out, nya. I'm just too tired. I'll maybe see him tomorrow, nya."

"All right. G'night, Keiko-chan."

"Night, Yuki-chan."

_**Okay…maybe that wasn't as long as I had hoped. Well, I'm sorry, I had no ideas really. DAMN YOU WRITER'S BLOCK! I'll go ninja on you!**_

_**Ahem…anyways, to be nice, I decided to clear some things up in the romance department for this fanfic. Also, because a few people told me in reviews to just come out and say it, and I feel bad about keeping it a secret. So, here they are!  
Keiko shall be paired with….DEIDARA! With Sasori having some feelings for her.**_

_**Yuki shall be paired with…HIDAN! Because I gots some good ideas for them…really good ideas. ^_^ Oh, and Kisame and Yuki are gonna hopefully become good friends. I need to consult my agent first. XD**_

_**Well, hope you all enjoyed! I'll try to update as much as I can! **_

_**LOVE YOU ALL!**_


	10. Who's the MeanyButt?

_**Chapter 10**_

_**EDIT: OMG I'M SORRY I MADE A MISTAKE, I PUT CHAP 9 UP INSTEAD OF 10! HERE'S 10~!  
**_

_**H'okay everybody, in this chapter I shall be introducing Rose-chan's OC.I put the info of the OC and her little sister in this chapter so it's easier for people to understand, and so I can look at it while typing. I hope she loves me for this, because sooner or later I'm gonna have too many OCs to manage, and they overpopulate the actual anime characters. -_-+ Anyways, I hope I can make this chapter sufficient for lack of updates in the future! I'M SORRY!**_

_First Name- Akira (meaning: "bright", "clear".  
Last Name- Tachibana (Means: "wild orange".)  
Age- Same as Yuki Hiragi.  
Hair- Orange, shoulder length, straight  
Eyes- Bright green  
Birthday- June 31st  
Personality- Fiery, emotional, rude, blunt, watchful, protective  
Likes- Fighting(does Kung-Fu), her friends, strawberries, training, rice-balls, her family, birds  
Hates- Her hair being insulted, bullies  
Piercings- Ears  
Figure- Lean  
Outfit- Denim shorts, white-short-sleeved t-shirt, white sneakers, green bangles, black fingerless gloves  
Family- Little sister Aoi, parents away on business trip_

_Little sister info:  
First name: Aoi (Means: hollyhock, althea" or "blue".  
Eyes: Ocean blue  
Hair: Orange, goes down to her waist, straight  
Personality: Gentle, friendly, wants to be a famous gardener  
Likes: Her sister, flowers  
Hates: Bullies (She used to be bullied before her sister scared them away...)  
Age: 7  
Outfit: White dress patterned with blue roses  
Birthday: May 5th_

**(A/N: Now we shall get on with the actual story.)**

When I woke up the next day, I was greeted by two things. One was Miyu dancing to the opening theme of the anime Lucky Star. The other?

Well, the other was Deidara staring at me. Needless to say, as soon as I saw his blue eyes staring at my dishelved bed head, I pretty much woke up.

"WHAT THE CRAP, NYA?" I leapt out of the bed and pointed at him accusingly. "W-why are you in here?"

The blonde artist smirked, and I felt a blush coming on. "Miyu said I could stay until you woke up, un."

"Oh, she did, did she?" My glare at Miyu could have penetrated the Great Wall of China. "I'll need to have a little talk with her, nya. Excuse me for a second, Deidara." I grabbed Miyu by the scruff of her neck and dragged her out to the balcony of the apartment room I was staying in. I held the familiar precariously over the edge so she could see the very far down street and all the cars whizzing by. Did I mention we were on the 8th story? "Why would you tell Deidara to watch me sleep, nya?"

Miyu meowed with distress and twisted out of my vice grip. "I thought I was being considerate!"

"Why would you think that was being considerate?"

"Because I know you like the Akatsuki, and I know that Deidara is at the top of your list," Miyu explained with a smirk at my blushing face.

My ears twitched and I muttered, "How did you know that, nya?"

"I can read your mind."

"…you cannot, nya."

"I can too, because I'm magic!" Miyu proclaimed, striking a Might Guy pose, complete with the shiny teeth and sunset, even though it was morning. I'm not going to ask how she does this crap anymore.

I sighed and rubbed my already throbbing head. "All right, I guess I owe you a thank you, nya. You were just trying to help, in your own crazy way. Thanks, Miyu."

"You're welcome, Keiko. Trust me; in the short future, you'll be glad of this moment." Miyu answered mysteriously as we headed back inside, winking at me. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

"Keiko~! Miyu~! You guys up yet? I have a couple of people you need to meet!" Yuki called out from the hallway, banging on the apartment door. "Oh, and I know Deidara's in there too!"

"Damn you, Yuki," I muttered, opening the door. "I'm tired still, nya. Come back later."

The dhampir put her foot in the door's way as I tried shutting it. "Well, you need to meet these two! Trust me, you'll like them."

"Can I change first, nya?"

"Sure! Be down in the lobby when you're ready." Yuki nodded, leaving.

I turned to Deidara and pointed to the door. "You. Out. Now, nya."

"What, un? You mean I can't watch you change?" Deidara waggled his eyebrows at me suggestively. I swear to the Goddess, if Miyu put a love spell on him, I'm killing her.

"You pervert! Get out, nya!" I yelled, shoving the ninja out into the hallway and slamming the door in his face, a blush once again making a name for itself on my face. "I looked down at Miyu, who was just grinning like crazy. "Don't. Say. Anything."

She held her paws up in defense. "Wasn't planning on it."

Sighing, I made the bed and brushed my teeth and all that morning stuff. Screw breakfast, I'm anorexic! …I'm kidding. Then I walked over to the closet and rummaged through it to find an outfit that would seem American-ish. **(A/N: Crap, I forgot to mention…Keiko sent all her clothes and things to New York before she teleported herself and the Akatsuki there. Sorry about failing to say that! TT_TT)** I picked out a simple black t-shirt that had neon kanji paint-splattered all over it. The kanji included "Punk", "Angel", "Love", "Hate", and "Forever". I pulled a tight pair of long jean shorts on that had tears in the knees, and laced up my one-of-a-kind Edward Elric cosplay boots. **(A/N: Sorry if you don't know who Edward Elric is. He's the main character of the anime Fullmetal Alchemist, and also one of my true loves. ^_^) **Tying my hair back in a loose ponytail, I looked at my reflection and nodded with approval. "I look normal, nya."

"What do you mean?" Miyu asked.

"I'm not wearing anything that would give away my status as a witch. That's good, nya." I explained, picking up Broomy and stroking the worn-down wood. "I'll have to lay low like this for a bit, nya." Placing the broom tenderly on the bed, I walked over to the door. "Let's go meet whoever Yuki wants us to meet, nya."

"Okay," Miyu paced herself behind me as I walked down the hallway. Deidara was nowhere to be seen, which I assumed meant he was already down in the lobby. When I got there, I was glomped by Tobi. "KEIKO-CHAN~! TOBI MISSED YOU LAST NIGHT! DEIDARA-SENPAI WAS SAYING YOUR NAME IN HIS SLEEP-" Cue the aggravated punch thrown at Tobi by a steaming Deidara.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, TOBI, UN!" Deidara yelled, going red in the face.

Sasori walked over to me, looking peeved. "Those two never stop…"

"You haven't gotten used to it, nya?" I raised an eyebrow. Deep inside, I was actually very happy at Tobi's comment. I just hoped he was telling the truth. But, judging from Deidara's embarrassed reaction and the fact Tobi was a "good boy", I was pretty sure he wasn't lying. THANK YOU TOBI!

"I have, in a way." The red-headed puppeteer shrugged. "I guess I just wished they'd shut up for once."

I laughed, laughing even harder as I watched Deidara beat the shit out of Tobi.

Yuki clapped, silencing us all. I guess the Akatsuki hadn't forgotten about her scary outrage last night, and didn't want a repeat of it. "Okay everybody! These are my two best friends here in America! Meet…Akira and Aoi Tachibana!" Two girls stepped from behind Yuki's outspread arms.

One girl was around Yuki's age, and the other was a little girl about….seven maybe, who clung to the older girl's legs looking nervous and shy. The little girl looked at my cat ears and tail and said in an adorable voice, "Kitty-cat, sissy."

AW, KAWAII! I WANNA HUG HER!

The older girl smiled and ruffled the other's hair. Her face hardened and she looked at us. "Hey. I'm Akira, this is Aoi, my little sister. You'd better be nice to her, or I'll kick your ass, ya hear?" Akira had a bright shock of orange hair that reminded me of Kitsune, and her green eyes made my head hurt. Aoi had the same shade of hair as her sister only it was way longer. Her soft blue eyes reminded me of Naruto's for some reason. Akira looked like your average girl, I guess; she had on shorts, a white t-shirt, white sneakers, green bangle that matched her eyes, and black gloves that made me think of a gangsta. Aoi was wearing a simple white dress with a blue rose pattern.

"Uh…hi, nya!" I waved at the two siblings. "I'm Keiko Furiyama. Nice to meet you!" My tail swished in greeting. "This is Miyu, my cat familiar." Miyu waved.

"Kitties…" Aoi pointed again at Miyu, then me. "Pretty kitties."

"Aoi, you can't pet them." Akira glared at me. "The big one may have rabies."

WHAAAAT? SHE HATES ME ALREADY? B-but I didn't do anything yet!

"A-a-ah….nya…?" I blinked at Akira. "I don't have-"

"Akira! That was mean! Keiko is my very good friend; she does NOT have rabies!" Yuki said angrily.

Akira shrugged. "It's just odd to see someone with cat ears."

"And a tail," Aoi added. She shrunk back behind her sister when I smiled at her.

"Ahem…anyway, Akira and Aoi have agreed to help us on defeating Luna and Aria. They themselves have issues with them," Yuki explained.

"We'll be in our room…" Akira said walking past us. "I no longer want to associate myself with the likes of a mangy half-cat."

Steam could have been coming out of my ears if this was a cartoon. Wait…this is an anime Fanfiction…

Yuki sighed, and layed a hand on my arm. "Keiko, I'm sorry. Akira is a shape shifter, and she has some certain…issues with witches. I won't explain; it's not my place. Akira's parents are on a trip, so she has to take care of Aoi. Aoi was bullied awhile ago, and now Akira is very…rude to people now."

"Oh. Okay, nya."

"Can we go now?" Itachi asked boredly.

Yuki nodded. "Yeah. Just do whatever the hell you guys want to do."

Itahci nodded, and the rest of the Akatsuki except for Deidara for some reason all ninja-poofed away.

"Wait, what?" I asked. "The Akatsuki can't be trusted to roam around this city by themselves!"

"It's okay, Keiko. I gave them all a map, and explained to them where to work at and stuff. They'll be fine." Yuki explained.

"Whew…good…" I sighed with relief.

"Well, all of them except Deidara."

"All right-WAIT, WHAT, NYA?"

"Deidara will be staying here to protect you!" Miyu cut in.

They planned this. They soooo planned this. Why me? Why? WHY?

"Aw, Keiko, are you worried you'll try to rape me, un?" Deidara asked with a smirked. "If you do, I'll kick your ass, so we won't have to worry about it."

"THAT'S NOT WHY I'M WORRIED, NYA!" I yelled, going red. "I'm worried because the witches may hurt you, and it'll be 'cause of me!"

"That's so thoughtful of you, un!"

"SHUT UP, BLONDIE!"

"Deidara, you have your hands full," Miyu said, grinning. The ninja grinned back at her. "I know I do."

"YOU'RE PLOTTING AGAIST ME AREN'T YOU, NYA?" I demanded.

"Maybe~…" Deidara, Yuki, and Miyu all said in sync.

"Not funny…" I muttered.

"It is too, un."

"Is not, nya."

"Uh-huh!"  
"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh, un!"

"Nuh-uh, nya!"

"EVIL CHIPMUNKS FROM THE PLANET ZARFNON ARE GOING TO ATTACK US!" Miyu screamed randomly.

"…what?" Me and Deidara looked at her blankly.

She giggled. "Oh, I just wanted to join in. Carry on, carry on."

"Well bye you guys, I'm going to work!" Yuki waved us off and skipped away. She works at a cosplay café, and she cosplays as either Hinata, Hawkeye from Fullmetal Alchemist, and Haruhi from the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. She's so versed in anime.

"Bye yuki, nya," I waved at her, then turned back to Deidara and continued arguing with him. "Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"  
"Uh-huh, nya!"

"Nuh-uh, un!"

"Uh-huh- wait what were we even arguing about in the first place again?"

"Uh…I don't remember, un."

Today's gonna be another long day, I think.

_**YAY! KINDA LONG CHAPTER! I'm so proud of myself. :P**_

_**Okay Akira and Aoi aren't my character's they are Kaharri's a.k.a. Rose-chan's! XD**_

_**Akira and Keiko will become friends in the end, don't worry.**_

_**AND I HAVE A SECRET ABOUT MIYU BUT ONLY ONE PERSON KNOWS, HAHAHAHAHAH~! **_

_**YOU'LL GO "OMG" WHEN I REVEAL IT!**_

_**Read and review!**_

_**And I know I updated twice in a row, but I had nothing to do, so…XD**_


	11. Invasion of the Body Snatchers

_**Chapter 11**_

_**Everyone, guess what? AMAYA-CHAN IS BACK FROM HER THIRTEEN DAY LONG VACATION! YAY! *cheers happily* Anyways, um, I got no ideas whatsoever for this chapter. ….Just kidding! I got one! XD Enjoy~!**_

Yeah, you know how I said it was going to be another long day? It was. Very long. Very, very long. In fact, it was so long that I didn't even realize the day was over when it was over.

…Okay, I'm done with my rant now.

"Miyu, have I ever mentioned how much Comic party is a waste of production fees and voice actors, because the anime is so crappy even naruto wouldn't believe it, nya?" I asked, flopping down on my bed.

"Yes…why are you telling me again?" Miyu replied.

"…Deidara made me watch it, nya. ALL. DAY."

"OMG THAT'S HYSTERICAL GO DEIDARA!" Miyu cheered, shutting up when I glared at her with eyes that could slice through diamond. **(A/N: The diamond is the hardest material known on Earth, ya know! XD)**

I rolled over and stared at the wall blankly. "…I miss Mom and Dad, nya."

"I know you do." Miyu sighed, patting my back. "I miss them too. They were good people. How long has it been since they died, now?"

"…two years, nya." I whispered, tears prickling at my eyes. "Two freaking years. I'll kill whoever killed them. I'll get my revenge, nya. I swear it on the Goddess."

"Does this call for an episode of Miyu Explains Things?" Miyu asked.

"No. Let's just explain it in a paragraph while I sleep, nya. Comic party plus Deidara equals an exhausted and angry Keiko. Good night, nya." And with that, I promptly fell asleep.

**(A/N: And now I shall type the paragraph wherein it explains the deaths of Keiko's parents.)**

My mother was a witch, and my father was a human, as you remember Miyu telling you all. They were happily married, and no problems had arised during their relationship. But…they had enemies they didn't know about.

The Witch Hunters.

The Witch Hunters were a group of people whose whole purpose in life was to kill witches, and anyone associated with them. They rose up during the witch trials in Salem, but died down throughout the years. At least, that's what we all thought. Evidently, they're still in the world, just laying low until they have time to pounce again. Two years ago, I came home to find my parents lying on the living room floor, throats cut and the blood drying on the carpet. Mom's familiar, a cat named Lunaria, was dead also. I fainted as soon as I processed the gruesome scene in my head, and when I woke up, I was in the custody of the Witch Council. They had found a note saying the Witch Hunters were rising again, and the death of my parents were just the beginning to their "virtuous quest to rid the world of evil."

It made me sick.

I was seventeen then, and not officially an adult. But, I was allowed to get my own apartment in Tokyo and live there. In the back of my mind, I would always see the blank, terrified, dead faces of my family, smell the metallic stench of blood, and hear my own scream as I fell to the ground, sobbing.

It was the worst day of my life. And I had a feeling, deep inside, the Witch Hunters, Aria, and Luna were connected somehow. I just didn't know in what way.

**~The Next Morning, While Everyone Is At Work Again And I Am Forced to Watch America's Next Top Model With Deidara Just So He can See Girls In Bikinis~**

…that whole bold title is completely true.

"Keiko, I'm hungry, un. Go make me something to eat." Deidara commanded, his eyes glued to the TV screen as the models stripped to their undies to put on some weird outfit. Sadly, I probably could make him change the channel. I just didn't care at that moment, because I was reading my manga.

"No, nya. Go do it yourself," I answered, turning the page. "Heh-heh…Tobi got owned by Deidara."

"Well, I'm watching my show. Go do it, un. Now."

"No, nya."

"Yes."

"No!"

"I said yes, un! Get me something to eat or I'll blow you up!" Deidara threatened, shoving his hands in my face. The tongues slithered out of the mouths, and one of them licked my cheek.

"GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME, NYA!" I leapt up and staggered back, wiping off the saliva from my cheek. "Ew, it licked me! Can't you control those things?"** (A/N: That whole paragraph deserves a certain comment. XD)**

"…That's what she said, un." Deidara smirked at my pink face. "That is so what she said."** (A/N: Told ya. X3)**

"Sh-shut up, you…you….nya!" I muttered, looking down so he couldn't see my blush. "I hate you, nya!"

"Just go make me something to eat already, un. I won't torture you then~!" Deidara said in a singsong voice, turning his attention back to America's Next Top Model. "You go, Tyra! Tell 'em how it's done, un!" **(A/N: If anyone comments on whether or not Deidara is gay, I will kill you. He is just watching ANTM for the half nudity. Nothing more. Got it?)**

I grumbled to myself but went into the kitchen anyway, got out a box of brownies, and proceeded to make them. By the way, we were in Yuki's suite, because she's just nice like that. And Miyu, for some reason, was out stalking Akira. Don't ask me why, 'cause I have no clue.

"Brownies are fun to make, nya!~" I sang as I moved around the kitchen, mixing all the ingredients together. "And they're yummy too!" Not being able to resist, I dipped my finger in and licked the chocolate delicacy off. "Mmmm…so…good…nya…" I grinned and put the brownie batter in a pan, stuck in the oven, and set the timer, walking back out to the living room. "Deidara, I made brownies. They'll be ready in forty-five minutes, nya."

"But I'm hungry nooow, un!" Deidara whined, acting like a little five year old.

"Well, just be thankful I'm even making you something, nya! You're abusing me!" I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest and making damn sure Deidara could see the anger vein on my head. "So I suggest shutting up, nya."

Deidara smiled, but it was a forced smile that said "I guess I shouldn't push her anymore, she may turn me into a toad, un."

"No, I'd turn you into a frog. Toads are overrated, nya." I said, not really thinking it through that I had just made Deidara's sentence up in my head.

"HOLY CRAP, YOU CAN READ MY MIND, UN?"

"Uh…" I blinked, then grinned, seeing as how I could use this to my advantage. "Yes!"

Deidara went pale and walked out of the room, but not before saying, "Then what am I thinking of now, un?"

"Porn, nya. Porn and the cheese that comes in a can."

"…God dammit."

Well, after that, the brownies were done and we each had some. And then we both felt sick. And then we both felt to the floor, moaning and whimpering. And then we both blacked out.** (A/N: Holy crap, you guys are gonna laugh soooo hard when you realize what the brownies are! And no, they aren't pot brownies. …sadly.)**

And you know what happened when we both woke up?

…I was in Deidara's body, and he was in mine.

"…" I blinked, staring at the mouths on my hands. "…this is just a dream. Just a dream, un. AH! I SAID UN, UN! NOT NYA!"

"I'M IN YOUR BODY, NYA! HOLY CRAP, I SAID NYA, NOT UN, NYA!" Deidara -no, me?- pointed at me accusingly. "WHAT DID YOU DO? PUT A SPELL ON US, NYA?"

"N-no! I don't think so, un…I need an incantation and Miyu, and I didn't have either!" I put my hands on my head. "Argh, I am so confused, un!"

Deidara suddenly smirked and moved his hands to his…my chest…oh my God. He wouldn't. He so wouldn't.

"Don't you dare, un!" I yelled, grabbing Deidara's hands away. "If you touch those, I'll touch your little friend too!"

"Go ahead, nya. I bet you'd enjoy that." Deidara smirked. His Dei-smirk looks really creepy in MY face.

"I WOULD NOT!" I shrieked, going red. I'm pretty sure Deidara was enjoying this whole thing. "YOU'D like it if I'D touch it, un!"

"Well, I'm going do it, nya." Deidara ripped his hands from mine, placed them on his chest, and squeezed.

I fell to the floor in true anime style, my legs twitching up in the air. "…I can't believe you actually just did that…Now I'll never be pure again…"

Deidara walked over to the counter and picked up a bottled that was labeled "Gender-Bender Potion." "…I think I know what happened to us, nya."

"Wait…I thought that was chocolate sauce! I put that in the brownie mix, un! Oh crap!" I gulped. "WHY DON'T I EVER READ THE LABELS, UN?"

"You dimwit!" Deidara smacked me upside the head, which actually didn't hurt that much. "You hit like a girl, un." I taunted. "That's because I AM a girl right now! All because of you, un!" Deidara yelled back at me.

"Whatever," I waved my hand away in a nonchalant way. "You're going to need to think of a spell to make us normal again, un."

"Why can't we just drink this potion, nya?"

"It only works one-way. If we drink it, nothing will happen, except make it impossible to ever switch back, ever again, un."

"…this sucks, nya. But on the Brightside, I can now squeeze boobs anytime I want!" Deidara said cheerfully, once again…squeezing them.

"If you weren't in my body, I'd blow you up right now for that comment." I growled darkly.

"You wouldn't anyway, because you like me." Deidara smirked evilly and knowingly.

"I DO NOT, UN!" I yelled defiantly.

"Do too, nya."

"Do not!"

"Do too."

"DO NOT!"

And that is the state in which Miyu, Akira, and Aoi all found me and Deidara: body switched, on the ground wrestling, and yelling in each other's faces angrily. Oh joy.

_**BWAHAHAHA! THIS CHAPTER WAS SOOOO FUN TO WRITE! I'M SO EVIL! **_

_**I hope to get one more chapter out before volleyball starts on Monday, so wish me luck!**_

_**Review please~!**_


	12. Nacho Cheese Always Helps!

_Okay, man, sometimes I hate vacations. Yes, it is I, Amaya! Mwahahahaha! I am back! And, I am here to type this chapter! Mwahahahaha! Anyway, like Yuki said, she's going to be busy this week, so I'm writing this chapter. I'm excited. Yeay. Well, this chapter should be interesting, considering that I have to go off of the last chapter… heh, Deidara really is a girl now… funny._

_**HPNJ chapter 12! Nacho Cheese Always Helps!**_

"That is so disgusting." Those were the first words out of Akira's mouth the moment she saw that I was in Deidara's body and he was in mine. Although, those weren't as bad as the sentence she said afterwards, "Ew, that is so gross, first you were, like, half cat thing, and now you're a transvestite! Why the hell did you do that! My little sister is here, that's a horrible example for her, you sicko!"

Wow, just wow, I mean, first she treats me like crap and now she treats me like… well, even more crap… the crappier kind. Great, this is going to suck.

"Shut up, it wasn't my fault!" I yelled, putting my- well, Deidara's hands up in defense.

"It was too,un," Deidara's voice said, placing a scowl on my body's face.

"You, shut up, nya!" I stuck my tongue out at him, which was weird because on Deidara's body he has multiple tongues to stick out… this whole thing is so confusing.

Just then, the Akatsuki walked in, and man, you should have seen their faces. Pretty much it was a mixture of confusion, disgust, surprise, and for some like Hidan an expression of amusement.

"So, Deidara, how does it f***** feel like to _actually_ be a girl? Before, you just f******looked like one," Hidan smirked, probably thinking of perverted things. Speaking of perverted things though, how the hell am I supposed to go to the bathroom! I don't know how to aim this thing! Maybe I'll just sit down and go… but then I'll still have to look at it. That is so weird.

"Okay everyone, just shut up and help me get this solved before I have to go to the bathroom, nya!" I shouted, waving my/Deidara's arms frantically… Maybe I shouldn't have shouted that, it's only making them laugh more… and now Akira is glaring at me again.

"You better get this solved, witch," Pein said in an almost threatening tone. Why does he have to be so scary sometimes?

"Well, fine… but I need to think this over, we're going out for nachos, nya!" I pointed to the door, but nobody followed.

"Why nachos, un?" Deidara asked.

"Because, they're food for the soul and for the mind, as for the body… not so much, they're kind of fattening, nya," I explained, "Other than that, though, they're really tasty, especially with extra cheese!" And with that I walked out the door, and the others had no choice but to follow.

My plan to find nachos, however, was short lived since I didn't know my way around New York, so I asked Yuki, and thankfully she knew where to find some. She led us to one of the many food stands along the street. There was a woman working at it, and she seemed about Yuki's age. Once we had given our orders her eyes lingered on Deidara and I for just a moment, looking back and forth between the two of us as if she knew what had happened. Once she figured out that she was staring, however, she averted her blue eyes, and got us our food.

The nachos looked delicious, and I couldn't help but start to drool a little, which was funny because then I pictured what Deidara's body looked like drooling… funny.

"Thank you," Yuki said, taking out some money.

"Yeay, Yuki-chan is paying for my nachos, nya!" I ran over and hugged her, not knowing that the nacho stand lady was staring at me again. Crap, I shouldn't have talked like a girl just now. The woman leaned over her cart and whispered, "I think I can help you out with your… problem." She said the last word, glancing between Deidara and I.

"W-what, how do you know!" I stammered.

Her pale face gave a smirk as she pushed her blond colored hair out of her face, "Because, I know things. Meat me in the basement of your apartment in ten minutes."

"U-um… okay, nya," I said shakily. How was it that she knew where my apartment was! That's just stalker-ish and creepy right there. After that I left in a hurry, I didn't want to talk to her more than I had to.

It took us all ten minutes to get back, which was weird because we didn't see the lady fallowing us at all, so it made me wonder on how she was going to get back in time.

We all walked down into the basement where the Akatsuki had pretty much taken over by now since it was their room. Sitting on one of the edge of Itachi's bed was the girl from before; this time she was wearing different clothes, which were just a regular blue tee-shirt, some black sweat pants, and some short, white socks.

"Good, you came," she nodded once we had all entered.

"Not to be rude or anything, but are you stalking us?" I asked. I can't believe that she actually knew where my apartment was.

"Yes, please explain, it is odd how you knew about where we all lived," Miyu said.

"Oh, well I live in the neighboring apartment complex, and I saw you guys one day," the girl shrugged.

"Oh… that explains it. Anyway, you said you could help us, nya?" I asked.

She nodded, "Yes, but first we should all get on a first name basis, and I want to hear how this happened," she gestured to Deidara and me at the last part, "Oh, and my name is Yori."

We all gave our names, and I explained the embarrassing story. I couldn't tell if she was trying not to laugh, or if she was grimacing at the story… or maybe both.

"So, you unknowingly put the potion into the brownies?" she asked in disbelief.

I nodded.

"What a foolish thing to do, but luckily it can be fixed," she shook her head at me. Itachi stared after he heard the word foolish.

"Good, because I want my body back, un!" Diedara yelled.

"Okay then, chill!" Yori put her hands up, "All you have to do is do something that a boyfriend and girlfriend might do."

"Seriously?" I asked excitedly, "Like what?"

"It's a four letter word."

"Um… um… oh, I know, kiss, nya!" I shouted.

"Hell no, un. That would be like kissing myself if I kissed her now!" Deidara yelled.

"Do you want your body back or not, girly?" Yori asked. Deidara looked like he was about to snap.

"Of course I do, un!" And then he grabbed me and kissed me forcefully. I felt myself change back, noticing that I was now in my shorter body. Deidara pulled away, and slowly backed away.

"Deidara… u-uh, you're a really good kisser, nya," I mumbled. He seemed taken aback a little, but he nodded as though he knew it all along, and walked away.

"Aw, you two make a cute couple!" Yori smiled excitedly.

I felt myself turn red, "R-really?"

She nodded.

"Hey, how did you know how to turn them back?" Miyu asked.

"Because I'm a witch, duh, I thought you guys would know that by now," Yori replied, "Anyway, why were some of the Witch Council members over here the other day?"

"It's a long story," I shifted uncomfortably.

"Oh… okay, are you guys in some sort of trouble with the council?" she asked.

"Well… with part of the council anyway, nya."

"Which ones?"

"Aria and Luna,"I replied. I saw her visibly stiffen at one of the names.

"So Aria is up to being a b**** again, is she?" Yori's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, pretty much… wait, again?" I asked.

Yori nodded, "Yes, it happened awhile ago, but I'll tell you the story of my foolish older sister another time, but for now," she brightened, "let's eat some cake!" And she actually pulled out a cake out from under one of the beds. I didn't know witches could do that. Oh well, at least the cake is chocolate!

**Well, there's that chapter. This was written by Amaya! Yes! Yuki and Amaya both do not own Naruto. **


	13. Fights, Stories, and a Party Plan?

_**Chapter13!**_

_**Hello my wonderful little readers! How are you all doing today? This is Yori (aka Amaya. Yes, I changed my name, deal with it!) And I am writing this next chapter because Yuki is busy, which sucks because now I have no ideas… so… I think I'll put in the descriptions for Yori (not me, the character.)**_

_First Name: Yori (meaning: servant of the people… kind of weird considering she serves people nachos)_

_Last Name: Ames (meaning: immortal. She changed her name after she moved out because she didn't like her last name being Lied.)_

_Age: 17_

_Hair: platinum blond, curly, goes down to mid-back_

_Eyes: silver blue_

_Birthday: December 16__th_

_Personality: somewhat random, sarcastic, can be very serious at times_

_Likes: comfy sweatpants, tee shirts, running, pulling pranks when possible, nachos_

_Hates: betrayal, her stepsister, tomatoes, make-up, and gardening_

_Piercings: none_

_Jewelry: wears an old ring_

_Figure: skinny, athletic-like_

_Outfit: Black sweatpants and an old tee shirt so worn out that you can't tell what it says_

_Family: none except for her stepsister Aria from the witch council (she only calls Aria her sister because she's too lazy to say stepsister)_

_**Okay, now to the chapter!**_

This whole thing was confusing to me. Yori had come into our group so abruptly that I barely had time to process it all. On the other hand, though, she had chocolate cake, so it was all good. Everyone was enjoying the cake; even emotionless Itachi seemed in a good mood. The only person didn't seem very happy, and that was Yori. Ever since the subject of the council she had seemed sort of out of it, even offering us all cake to distract the attention from her. It was weird though, she had seemed so happy before, and what was that comment that she had made about her older sister? I didn't want to ask about it, from fear of making her want to leave.

"This cake is really good, nya!" I shouted happily, hoping it might cheer her up a little. It didn't. She just looked up at me and gave a small smile, then looked away again. I glanced around the room. I could tell Akira was getting annoyed by Yori's attitude.

A couple minutes later, everyone was done with the cake, and everyone stood shifting awkwardly in the silence, not knowing what to say.

"Well, I guess I'd better be getting on to the story of my stepsister and I," Yori began.

"I thought you said she was your sister?" Konan said.

"Yeah, I just say sister because I'm too lazy half the time to say stepsister," Yori shrugged. Then she began to tell the story, "Okay, it all happened awhile ago… I think I was fourteen or thirteen… well, anyway, I was about to become one of the council, I know it sounds unlikely, but I was about to become a council witch. They had been impressed by my performance with my challenge and they had wanted to make me one of them."

"Tobi wants to know what your challenge was!" Tobi interrupted.

"I had to fight a jabberwocky," Yori explained.

"A jabber-what?" Akira asked.

"A jabberwocky, you know, from Alice in Wonderland. The council had conjured one up and they made me fight it," Yori continued, "I killed that thing like you would not believe, that thing was dead in less than ten minutes. Anyway, they had been surprised at my skill and wanted to have me join them. I accepted of course, and the induction ceremony was to be held the week after," she said, "My stepparents were so excited for me, and I think Aria got jealous after awhile. And so, being the stupid old adult that she was she flooded the house down while her own parents and I were inside."

"Why didn't she get in trouble for that?" Miyu questioned.

"Oh, once the witch council came to see what had happened, she told them that she was displaying her powers for them, and once they had seen what she could do, they made her part of the council instead, not once questioning about me or my stepparents" Yori told her.

"Not to be rude or anything, but Aria is in her seventies, it's just weird that you are her stepsister, nya," I said.

"Well, I do admit, it is weird, but after Aria had moved out and such, her parents got rather lonely, and adopted me later on," Yori explained. Man, her family must be _messed up._

"Well that was a nice _cheerful_ story," Akira rolled her eyes. Yori narrowed her eyes at her.

"Sorry if you didn't like it, but you should really keep your opinion in your brain under that ugly red hair of yours," Yori said threateningly.

"It's orange, you tard, and it is not ugly!" Akira shot back.

"Hey, ladies, let's break it up here!" I said, walking in-between them, "There's no need to fight, nya."

"Whatever," Akira glared. She went over to her sister- who was trying to get Miyu to play with her- and took her hand, "Come on Aoi, let's go read a fairytale book."

Her sister got up happily, "Okay!"

The two walked out.

"So… now that I'm on your side, what should I do? Do we have any plans?" Yori asked.

"Not really, right now we're just focusing on avoiding the council, nya," I explained.

"Oh, okay."

There was an awkward pause as Yori looked around, probably trying to think of something to say.

"So you guys stay down here?" Yori had turned her attention to the Akatsuki. They nodded. She gazed at the room, "It's really crowded down here. If anyone wants to they can stay at my place. I have lots of room."

Everyone sort of shifted uncomfortably. It was probably the most awkward moment of my life. Someone needed to talk. Luckily, good old Tobi came to the rescue.

"Tobi likes the new lady! She can be Tobi's friend now!" he shouted in a hyper voice. Yori looked up at him, "Uh… okay!" she grinned.

Now I knew what to say… well, I guess I didn't really think about it, it just came out randomly, "Let's celebrate! We should have a party to celebrate our new member friend thing! Yeah! Nya!"

"Is there going to be f***** beer?" Hidan asked.

"Oh hells yes!"

"Don't forget chocolate cake and nachos!" Yori shouted, leaping up from her seat.

"Don't forget the dango either," Itachi crossed his arms quietly.

"Or fish food," Kisame added. And that's how our master party plan/ get drunk scheme started.

**Wow… that was just hard to write; I had no ideas whatsoever… hopefully Yuki can do the next chapter. Anyway, Yuki and I do not own Naruto, if we did then it would be a lot more funny and perverted… that means Jiraiya would get a lot more screen time.**

**Jiraiya: OH HELLS YES!**


	14. The Happy Hour, Happy Times Bar

_**Chapter 14**_

_**Yay, it's Yuki everybody! I'm back! Thanks to Yori for doing the last two chapters, I appreciated it! Well, today I was at the fair, and I was smacked in the forehead with some fanfic inspiration on one of the rides. I'd like to thank the dude who was in control of the music playing, because it's thanks to him this idea popped in my head while I was screaming bloody murder and praying I wouldn't get whiplash. ^_^ Oh, by the way, next week my cousins are coming over, and then…high school starts. TT_TT So….please bear with me in the updating department, I will do my best to meet your expectations!**_

"One more! One more! One more!"

"All right, I'm doing it!" Hidan snarled -well, more like slurred- at everyone, tipped his head back, and downed the shot of tequila. Cheers erupted as he wiped his mouth and grinned sloppily, his face flushed from being drunk. He attempted to get up, failed epically, and fell down hard onto the ground, where Kakuzu stood over him and laugh.

Yes, we really did get drunk. Well, everyone but Yori and I, because we were under aged. Akira had taken Aoi home about four hours ago, and it was midnight. Anyway, we had all been discussing ideas on how to take down Aria and Luna, but one thing led to another and pretty soon before I realized, the whole Akatsuki and Yuki were betting to see how many shots they could all do. The winner was allowed to use any loser as a foot rest, hat stand, coat rack, or refrigerator. Don't ask me how they were going to make that last one work out, because I really don't know.

It was easy to say that things had gotten out of hand really quickly.

"Miyu, can I leave, nya?" I asked timidly, slinking down in my seat. They had found some bar that didn't really care about I.D.s, so Yori and I were sitting as far away as possible from the alcoholics over on our left at the bar. They were making a lot of noise…

"As much as I'd like to leave too, we can't. We need to watch the drunkies, or else bad things will happen to bad people." Miyu explained.

"Uh, don't you mean, 'bad things will happen to GOOD people'?" Yori asked, raising her hand in confusion.

"No. Not at all."

"…o-kaaaay then."

"Hey guys, Hidan made it to eleven shots! He's in the lead!" Yuki screamed at us, a shot glass in her hand. She flipped her head backwards and drained the small cup, smacking her lips and shaking with a happy look on her booze-brain face. "I'M AT SIX!"

And then everyone else proceeded to scream out their shot numbers.

"NINE!" That was Kisame. I never thought of him as a booze-head.

"…four." Itachi WOULD only drink that much. At least we'll have another person with a clear-ish head.

"Two, because Tobi thinks this stuff tastes yucky." Oh, Tobi. You never cease to amuse me.

"Seven! OH YEAH!" Wait, Sasori's a puppet…HOW CAN HE INGEST ALCOHOL? IT'S ONE OF THE WORLD'S WONDERS!

"Seven…make that eight…hiccup!" Kakuzu shouldn't try to talk while drinking…

"I'm only at one, because unlike everyone else here, I have a brain." Good ol' Konan.

"Five." …Pein looks about ready to drag Konan in into a secluded room and do…stuff.

" **One for** each of us." Zetsu sounds so calm. Nice Plant Man.

"T-T-T-TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! UUUUUUN!" O_o yes, that's right, I actually just made that face when Deidara screamed out his shot number.

"I think we're gonna die, nya." I whispered fearfully to Yori and Miyu. "Be prepared to take drastic measures if needed." Miyu nodded, and Yori raised an eyebrow at all of our adversaries over at the bar. "…okay, guys, don't look now, but I think they have all been infused with the spirit of Michael Jackson."

**(A/N: This is where my wonderful idea begins. Feel free to laugh your ass off. ^_^)**

"…what?" Miyu and I swiveled our heads to see the most hysterical sight ever to be seen; the Akatsuki, minus Konan and Zetsu, dancing to Michael Jackson's _Thriller, _and they had started as soon as the song had come on in the bar's speakers. They were doing a pretty good job of it too, actually…

"…I am SO recording this," Yori grinned, whipping out a camera and turning the recording option on. Miyu stared in horror at the Akatsuki, probably shocked at how well they managed to do the dance despite never really doing it before. Or maybe they had done it before when we weren't with them. We'd never know, because chances are, they'd never tell.

"_Thriiiilleeer! It's the thrill of the night!"_ Hidan sang off-pitch, accidently punching Deidara in the face as he turned around and did that signature Michael Jackson move. "Oops, I'm so fucking sorry, Deidara! I love you, man!"

"I love you too, Hidan! Un!" Deidara sobbed, throwing himself in Hidan's arms. The two began to cry and say all those odd things drunken people say when they're happy…or sorry.

"I think I was just scarred for life," Konan muttered, walking over to us with Zetsu right behind her. "I think we should leave."

"SENPAI, TOBI'S SORRY TOO!" Tobi yelled, crying through his eyehole in his mask. "TOBI LOVES YOU!"

"Fuck you, Tobi! I only love Hidan right now, un!" Deidara growled.

"Okay, I think I just became a yaoi fan in some sort of way, nya." I deadpanned, staring at Hidan and Deidara. "If they start making out, I am so totally joining in with them."

"That's just sick, Keiko." Miyu wrinkled up her nose in disgust.

"I was kidding!"

"Deidara! Get your hands off my man!" Yuki hissed, baring her fangs. "Hidan is MINE!" She tackled Deidara off and leapt into Hidan's lap, where she began to kiss the drunken Jashinist passionately on the lips. Hidan responded just as enthusiastically, even going as far as to rolling onto the floor under the bar counter and groaning hornily. **(A/N: Maybe I should change this rating from "T" to "M"….O_O)**

"MY EYES! MY EARS!" Yori screamed, running away. "I'M TOO YOUNG TO SEE THIS! WELL, NOT REALLY, BUT STILL!"

"Hey Itachi…go after her, nya." I suggested saucily to the Uchiha, who glared at me but trudged off after Yori nonetheless. My amazing powers of persuasion are amazing.

"What happens if we have little Hidans and Yukis running around?" Kisame asked, burping right in my face. I glared at him and covered my nose. "Simple: They get married and move away. There's no way in hell that I'm dealing with a bunch of babies on top of the Witch Council, nya."

"Good point."

"Hey, Keiko, can I make-out with you too, un?" Deidara begged, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me crazily. "Can I, can I, can I, can I-" I pushed him away and blushed like crazy, hiding behind Tobi. "N-no, nya! Get away you pervert, nya! Tobi, sick 'em, boy!"

"Ok, Keiko-chan! RUFF!" Tobi barked and tackled Deidara down, choking him with his legs. Hey, Tobi was doing what Deidara did to him when he had no arms! All Tobi needed to do was scream "DEATH BY SUFFOCATION!" and the moment would be perfect.

"DEATH BY SUFFOCATION!"

…this is possibly the best moment of my life so far.

"Uh, Tobi? I think you're actually killing him." Sasori said slowly, watching as Deidara's face turned purple and his eyes bugged out.

"Tobi, you may want to let go off him…" Kakuzu warned.

Tobi looked at us, then to Deidara, and began to flail his arms about. "OH NO! TOBI KILLED DEIDARA-SENPAI! TOBI'S SORRY! TOBI DIDN'T MEAN IT! TOBI WAS JUST-hey a quarter!" Tobi let go off Deidara and crawled under a table, popping back up with a coin. "Tobi can feed the duckies at that pond we passed now!"

Cue the exasperated facepalms from me, Miyu, Konan, and Zetsu, since everyone was else was either too wasted, half-dead (Deidara) or possible mating (Yuki and Hidan, who I really didn't want to think about) to comprehend what was happening.

"I swear, I am NOT going to say anything." Konan muttered. "Even that was just too weird for a comment."

"**We agree."** Zetsu nodded.

Deidara finally came back to life and chose that moment to yell, "I GOTTA GO PEE, UN!"

"Well, I see that he fully recovered from that partial suffocation, nya." I muttered. "And really quickly, too."

"Danna, take me to the little artists' room, un!" Deidara begged Sasori. "I'll admit your art is better! I'm too afraid to go by myself, un!"

"All right, I will. But first admit my art is better." Sasori commanded.

"Your art is totally, completely, irrevocably better than mine, un." Deidara solemnly stated.

Sasori nodded in approval and took Deidara's arm. "Good. Now let's go."

Deidara suddenly made a pained face and he giggled nervously, "Uh-oh…too late. I don't have to go anymore, un." Sasori dropped Deidara's arm in disgust and turned away. "I am NOT cleaning that up."

"ARE YOU FRAKING KIDDING ME? YOU PISSED YOURSELF, NYA?" I yelled, covering my mouth to hide my laughter. "THAT IS FUNNY AS HELL!"

"That is!" Miyu agreed, laughing so hard that she fell on her side, her tail twitching from the laughter. "Oh Goddess, that is PRICELESS!"

"That is pretty funny…" Konan agreed, grinning. Pein suddenly pounced on her like some sort of jungle cat and began to kiss her hungrily, making weird growling noises. …oh, I get it, he's actually trying to imitate a jungle cat!

"Well, it's safe to say that a good portion of our group is getting hitched tonight, nya." I said, gesturing to Konan and Pein, the bar counter where Yuki and Hidan still hadn't emerged from, and out the door to where Itachi and Yori were talking outside, both of them smiling like maniacs.

"And I think it's time we left, don't you?" Miyu asked.

"…but I'm having fun watching this now, nya!"

"Well, we need to get some rest."

"Fine," I pouted, tugging on Deidara's sleeve. "C'mon, Deidara, time to leave." I walked over to the counter and kicked under it, my foot making contact with a body and receiving a loud "OW!" from Hidan. "Hidan, stop making-out with your dhampir girlfriend and get out here! It's time to leave and go to bed!"

Yuki and Hidan emerged grumpily from the floor and smoothed down their hair and clothes, looking flushed and embarrassed.

"Sasori, Kakuzu, Kisame, you guys pay." I commanded. Kakuzu looked like he was about to cry, but I punched him in the stomach before he could retort and said, "Hey, you have the most money, nya. Make use of it for once." Kakuzu nodded sadly and painfully, doubling over and holding his stomach. He, Kisame, and Sasori walked over to the counter to pay.

Hidan and Yuki grabbed each other's hands, but then Hidan's hand slipped down to her butt, and they began to play what I could only describe as "The Ass-Grabbing Game." It was really…creepy.

Itachi and Yori came back from outside, and from what I could tell by the looks on their faces, they seemed to have become friends. Or maybe more than that. I was secretly hoping for the latter of those two options, because even though I'd only met Yori, she and Itachi would make a good couple in my eyes.

Pein and Konan were now looking at each other with lovey-dovey eyes, and I couldn't help but give Konan an approving look. What can I say, I love that couple! It makes so much sense! PEIN AND KONAN ARE GONNA HAVE BABIES AND THEY'RE GONNA GROW UP TO BE EVIL MASTERMINDS! …MAYBE! A fangirl can dream, can't she?

And so ended our trip to the bar, which was called "Happy Hour, Happy Times." I made a mental note to make sure to come back to this place whenever I needed potential black mail material. As Deidara stumbled down and I was forced to let him use me as a crutch, I thought one single thing:

_One thing's for sure. They sure are gonna have one hell of a hangover in the morning._

_**HOLY CRAP I WAS LAUGHING SOOOO HARD DURING THIS WHOLE CHAPTER! And hey, it was longer than normal! That's my thanks to all of you for supporting this Fanfiction, and bearing with the crappiness of some parts of it. Other than those little parts, this story is completely kick-ass. LOL I'm so modest. Well, remember to review, and that I may not be able to update for a bit! Wish me and Yori luck during our new school year in two weeks! XD**_


	15. The Joy of Hangovers and Gettin' Sum

_**Chapter 15**_

_**I'm glad you all liked chapter 14! And now, it's sad to say, I'm a fan of the DeidaraXHidan coupling just because of the parody way I put it in the chapter. …don't judge me! LOL Yori and I came up with this whole chapter while at the fair, trust me, it'll be funny. Oh, Yori also made a drawing of all the OCs and the Akatsuki of this, it's so cool! Hey, if you guys want, you can do fan art too! You can if you want, we really don't care if you don't. Your reviews and support are enough! XD ENJOY~~~!**_

~The next morning~

I was totally right; everyone did have one of a hangover in the morning. As I came downstairs, I found Yuki passed out in the kitchen floor, a dried up pool of drool surrounding the area around her head on the floor. She was mumbling something about Hidan and seaweed, and frankly, I wasn't going to wake her up to ask what she was dreaming about. Miyu and I sat down at the table and had some breakfast when Akira and Aoi stormed in, Akira looking about ready to kill someone. "What did you do last night?" She demanded, pointing at the passes out Yuki on the floor. I blinked, swallowed the mouthful of cereal I had, and stated, "I didn't do anything, nya. They did. They got drunk and did crazy things, nya. Yori, Miyu and I were just witnesses of it."

"Yuki-onee-sama is dead?" Aoi asked, poking Yuki's cheek. The dhampir moaned and shifted her position, but didn't wake up.

"No, she's just sleeping," Miyu explained, using that tone you use when trying to tell a little kid something. "She had a hard night; she'll be up soon though."

"Can Akira-onee-chan put Yuki-onee-sama somewhere comfortable while she's sleeping?" Aoi asked, tugging on her older sister's pant leg and looking up at her face with hopeful eyes. Akira's face softened and she nodded, smiling warmly at her little sister. "Of course, Aoi." Akira hefted Yuki over her shoulder and put her on the couch in the living room, where Yuki buried her face in a pillow and began to snore.

"We should go check on how the Akatsuki are faring on this lovely morning, nya!" I said cheerfully. "Tally ho! Onwards to the basement!" We all walked downstairs, turned on the light, and were greeted by a very disturbing sight.** (A/N: LOL That rhymed! Oh, and the Akatsuki like to stay in the basements of building because it reminds them of their old base.)**

First off, Kisame was on the floor sleeping with a sign taped to his forehead that said "Fish are friends, not FOOD." Itachi was on his bed with his hair braided, ribbons intertwining through the braids, and his mouth was hanging open. Kakuzu was shoved under a bed, and various body limbs were sprawled out from under it. It looked very uncomfortable, but he didn't notice, since he was still sleeping very heavily. Sasori was propped up against the wall, his limbs lying on the floor next to him so all he was was a body with no arms or legs, and there was a brown stain on the floor that I assumed was beer. Well, now I knew the mystery to how Sasori kept his alcohol in him; it just stayed in his body until someone opened up his body and let it spill all out. And….oh my GOD. Deidara and Hidan were in the same bed, hugging each other with odd smiles on their faces. Deidara's hair was done in pigtails and his face was smeared with make-up, which made him even more girly than normal. Hidan's silver hair was dyed with pink streaks, and he had on clip-on dangly earrings. **(A/N: Yes, now funny HidaDei moments will show up periodically throughout this fanfic. Yaoi fangirls out there, you know who you are, you're welcome. *cough* Abby-chan *cough* ^_^)**

"…that is AWESOME, nya!" I laughed, doubling over from the laughter. "Oh God, I am definitely supporting HidaDei now!" Miyu looked at me with an odd look, and then bit my foot. I yelped in pain and rounded on her. "OW, NYA! The hell was that for?"

"This is not the time for yaoi confessions, even though I have to admit that the position these guys are all in are pretty funny." Miyu said. "Wait…where's Pein, Konan, and Tobi?"

"Akira-onee-chan! I found the blue haired lady, the earring-faced man, and Tobi-senpai!" Aoi called, opening the bathroom door. We ran over to her and gaped inside. Konan and Pein were stuffed in the bath tub on top of each other, like they had been attempting…stuff. **(A/N…the "bionic seahorse". Get it? They were attempting to do "stuff" in a bath tub; therefore it is the bionic seahorse. XD)** "Are they pretending to be mermaids?" Aoi asked, looking up at us. Akira grabbed her sister and stomped away, looking over her shoulder to mouth to me, "I really hate you even more now." I sighed, and then looked at Tobi, who had his face stuffed in the toilet, and was evidently wearing scuba goggles and a snorkel, and he was making bubbles in the toilet water. I yanked him out of the toilet bowl, resisting the urge to laugh at him.

"Tobi, what happened here, nya?" I asked.

"Tobi doesn't know. Tobi woke up and everyone was like that!" Tobi pointed to Pein and Konan for emphasis. "They look like what bunnies do when they're having fun. Will they multiply just as fast? Then Tobi can have bunnies!"

"Tobi, some things are best for you not to know." Miyu said, patting Tobi on the head. "Why were you in the toilet?"

"Tobi wanted to go swimming, but Pein-sama and Konan-san had already taken up the tub. So Tobi used the toilet!" Tobi boasted proudly. The snorkel was shoved under his mask, leaving it askew off his face a little, and the goggles were strapped over so they covered his eyehole. All in all, it was pretty priceless.

"Hey guys! Wassup?" Yori asked excitedly from behind us. I turned around and waved to her, then looked at her face. She looked like a little kid who had just stolen cookies from the cookie jar and hadn't gotten caught, and was now really proud of herself. Something was up, and I needed to know what.

"Yori…why do you look so smug, nya? Did you do something?" I asked slowly, narrowing my eyes at her.

Yori giggled. "Oh, nothing, nothing~!" I wasn't convinced. She whistled innocently and tipped back and forth on her feet, staring at Itachi. That's when her smirk grew wider, and I realized what she had done.

"Yori, you did this to all of them, didn't you?" I placed my hands on my hips and stared at her with an interrogating glance. "Fess up to it, nya!"

"Ok, ok, I did it all! I couldn't resist!" Yori confessed, giggling. Then she sobered and looked at Konan and Pein. "Well, I didn't do that. They were like that when I came in this morning."

"Wait, how early this morning?" Miyu demanded. "We should have heard you come in!"

"Oh, I used a teleportation spell. And, I'd say about…two hours ago I came in. I need no sleep practically." Yori explained with a smirk. "I'm pretty amazing if I do say so myself." **(A/N: Oh Yori, you're so modest.)**

"Hey, Itachi-san is waking up!" Tobi excitedly said, pointing behind us. Sure enough, the Uchiha was slowly coming to, blinking his eyes in confusion and yawning. Itachi put his hand up to scratch his head, and froze when his fingers hit the braid. He looked at us and growled, "What. The. Hell?"

"YORI DID IT!" Miyu pointed a paw at the giggling witch, who put her hand up as if in defeat. "Yes, yes I did. But I couldn't resist! If it makes you feel better, look around you at your fellow Akatsuki members." Itachi did, and when his eyes rested on the awkward position that Hidan and Deidara were in, he couldn't help but crack a small, nearly impossible to see smile. "…that's actually pretty funny. But…" His eyes met Yori's and he pointed to his hair. "Seriously, ribbons?"

"…you looked cute in ribbons?" Yori tried, shrinking under Itachi's gaze.

"I'm dealing with you later."

"…okay." Yori sniffed, an emo rain cloud appearing over her head. "I can deal with that." She then perked up, grabbed out a camera, and grinned. "Oh wait a minute! I gotta get this in a picture!" Yori walked around until she found a spot that was perfect, pushed the button, and took the picture of the whole Akatsuki. Then, she took a separate photo of Hidan and Deidara, explaining to me, "For blackmail for you. You'll need it. Trust me."

"O-okay, nya." I blinked.

"We should probably get out of here before they all wake up," Miyu suggested. "I don't want to suffer the wrath of the Akatsuki when they realize what happened to them."

"Good plan." Yori, Itachi, Tobi, and I all nodded, and we ran upstairs. About an hour later, we heard the confused mumbles of the group downstairs, and then the mumbles turned to loud talking, which turned into shouts of "WHAT THE FUCK?" Priceless, isn't it? Especially when I had that picture of Hidan and Deidara. Which, by the way, I was totally using as blackmail, like Yori suggested.

~One week later~

Needless to say, they were all pretty mad at Yori. But, she had diplomatic immunity, so she was safe from the fiery clutches of the Akatsuki's wrath. The "diplomatic immunity" being the photos she took. Those and the fact that Itachi was protective of her, of course.

Well, life continued on to be semi-normal, with everyone going to the various jobs that Yuki had supplied them with. Also, there was some romance going on between us all. Yori and Itachi were pretty much a couple now, despite Yori's constant teasing of the Uchiha. But, she would sometimes go super-serious and emo-like, so I guess that turned Itachi on in a way. Also, Akira was staying in the living room at one point during the week, and she had a nightmare and woke up. When she did, Zetsu was standing over her with a rose, and you know what he said? "This rose wanted to see some real beauty, so I showed you to it." Needless to say, the two fell for each other somehow, and now Akira was one of the nicest people on earth. I guess she just needed someone to have a crush on her? Aoi also had a little crush on Tobi, and the little cutie-pie made a crappy looking mask to match his, gave it to him, and said, "Tobi-senpai, this is incase yours breaks, so you have an extra!" And finally, Hidan and Yuki. The two lovebirds made an expected announcement the other day. Well, Yuki did, and she screamed it from the bathroom. This is how it went:

"HIDAN! HIIIIIDAAAAN!"  
"WHAT?"

"I'm pregnant!"

"….w-what?"

"You heard right, my eggo is preggo!"

"OH MY JASHIN, I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED A SON!"

"What if it's a girl, huh?"

"…then I'm sacrificing the kid to Jashin and asking for a son."

"HIDAN, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

You haven't laughed until you've seen a pregnant dhampir chase a terrified Jashinist around the house, especially when said dhampir has stolen said Jashinist's scythe and is threatening to chop his head off every five minutes.

I was happy for Yuki, and I decided to let her keep the baby. I mean, I'm not her mom or anything; I just was stressed when I said that I'd make her and Hidan move. Oh, and to make things better, dhampir are only pregnant for a month. So, our deadline for defeating Aria and Luna was in a month, so the baby would be born into a happier world. I'm so nice.

"What about you and Deidara?" You may be asking. Well, let's just say, we were avoiding each other. After I showed him the picture of him and Hidan for the fourth time because he kept pissing me off, he decided it'd be wise to stay away from me. But….

I was getting lonely without him for some reason.

It took me about three days to realize why I was lonely without him, after Miyu yelled at me to stop being all mopey and emo-like. Which, I assure you, I had no idea I was acting like. Do you want to know why I as lonely without Deidara around, bugging me twenty-four-seven to do some weird shit for him? Well…It was because, I realized, I was falling in love with him.

_**Aw, I think this was a cute chapter all in all! Don't you? Oh, and Yori put the picture she made as our default picture, you should look at it! **_

_**And now, I would like to take this time to thank you all for reviewing so far, because we're ecstatic about the amount of reviews we've gotten. You're all awesome, and we love you. ^_^ **_

_**Also, we'll try to get one more chapter out before school starts on August 16, and chances are Yori will do it because I'll have my cousins over. …or maybe I can fake sick to make them stay home…I may do that, because I really don't want them over because they'll be going back home the day before school starts. I'm not mean and unloving; I just don't want to be stressed. **_

_**So, until the next chapter! READ AND REVIEW, AND YOU'LL GET A VIRTUAL COOKIE! OR A BROWNIE! WHICHEVER YOU PREFER!**_


	16. Clay and a suspicious Prank?

**HPNJ Chapter 16**

**Hey guys, it's Yori here with the new chapter of HPNJ! YEAYYYYY! Anyway I would like to thank everyone for all the reviews. It makes me feel loved! Also, I hope you guys all love this chapter. I'm going to try and get the suspense going now since Yuki and I have put off getting to the plot. So, here it is!**

The past week had been lovely. It had been peaceful, and the others and I hadn't heard anything of the council in awhile. It was getting weird, but I was fine with not having contact with them. The only thing that was bothering me at the moment was that Deidara and I were still avoiding each other. I hated that. I knew that I had feelings for him, but how was I even supposed to show them if he kept walking away when I tried to talk to him? I had even resorted to asking Sasori if he knew why Deidara was still avoiding me after a week.

"How should I know, the brat never tells me anything," Sasori shrugged. I had cornered him in the hallway one day.

"Well, don't you have some sort of guesses at least, nya?" I pleaded.

Sasori looked as if he was in thought, "Well, maybe he just doesn't like you… or maybe he doesn't want to admit that he likes you… or maybe he just doesn't want to be made fun of by the other members for liking someone."

Personally, I hoped it was the second one, but I couldn't be sure, "Um okay, thanks, Sasori."

He nodded and walked away.

Well, that wasn't much help. What was I supposed to do with that sort of information? Erg, why is this so confusing! Wait! I know what I can do! I'll by him some clay to mold with, since he doesn't have any. Sure, it won't be exploding clay, but who cares! This is my only chance, it has to work! But how was I going to find the clay, I don't know any of the stores here! Crap! Oh, maybe I'll ask Yuki, she'll probably know.

I found Yuki in the kitchen making lunch for everybody. I'm guessing she's practicing her cooking for when she's a mother. Ha, I'd hate to be her right now.

"Hey Yuki, can I ask you a few things?" I asked walking up to her. As I got closer the smell of food wafted through the air and to me. It smelled really good… like some kind of soup. As I got closer I saw that it was ramen, the homemade kind. Yuki probably hasn't made it in years. Her ramen was always the best.

"Yeah, sure, what can I help you with?" She asked, as she stirred the noodles.

"Um, do you know where I could buy some clay?" I asked almost in a whisper.

"Is this for Deidara?"

"…Maybe… will you please help me?" I put on the best puppy dog face that I could muster.

She sighed, "Fine, but you owe me a favor from now on."

"Okay, so where can I find some clay, nya?"

"Well, there are a couple art stores close to our apartment, but I'm not sure how expensive their prices are. Usually clay can be pretty expensive," she explained. Oh great, now I'll have to start saving money, great, just great.

…A couple days later…

Okay, so basically the only thing that I've figured out in the past week is that I have almost no money… maybe I can ask Yori. She had a job, she must have some money. I'll pay her back too… probably with Kakuzu's money if I'm able to steal some.

Now, off to find Yori!

It wasn't hard to find Yori; all I had to do was find Itachi. They were both sitting on the couch watching some T.V.

"Hey, Yori, can I talk to you for a second?" I asked.

She glanced over at Itachi, "Uh, sure."

She got up and we walked away from everybody.

"What do you need?" Yori asked.

"Well… I really don't want to ask this, but can I borough some money, nya?"

"What for?" She didn't look very pleased that I had asked her, which was starting to worry me.

"Um… well, I kind of want to get Deidara something, so that maybe he'll start talking to me again," I explained, shifting uncomfortably.

"Oh okay, so this is for your secret crush, huh?" she grinned.

I turned red, "Yeah, I guess so."

"Well, what did you have in mind?"

"Well, I want to get him some clay, since he doesn't have any," I told her. Man, I hope she helps me.

"Okay, I'll help you. Meet me tomorrow morning at eight, there's bound to be some art store open at that time, hopefully."

Yes, it was going to work!

"Okay, it's a deal, nya!" I shook her hand, and she went back to Itachi.

….the next morning….

The whole apartment was quiet. I had just checked all of the rooms to make sure everyone was asleep. I didn't want anyone to know about what I was doing.

I met Yori near the entrance of my apartment complex, and we took off toward one of the stores. Luckily, the first one we went to was open, and I soon had my present for Deidara. Man, he is going to love this!

Yori and I talked on the way home about what I was going to say, and how I was going to present this to him, and we both agreed that I should catch him alone so that he won't be embarrassed. My heart felt like it was going to tear out of my chest, I was so excited. I felt my heart beating hard like I had just ran a mile.

We entered the building and I felt nervous now. Oh crap.

Yori and I walked into the living room of my place. I hid the gift behind my back. Everyone was awake, and they were all sitting around the living room discussing something.

"Hey guys! Good morning!" Yori waved. They all turned to glare at her, and now I saw why. They were all wearing some sort of makeup and many of the guys had their hair curled or braided. I saw Yori's eyes go wide.

"Well in case you haven't noticed, it is _not_ a good morning! Why the hell did you do this again, you little bitch!" Deidara yelled at Yori.

"What do you mean? I didn't do any of this!" she pleaded. I noticed that Itachi wasn't even looking at her. His hair was braided again with even more ribbons than before.

"Yeah right, you fucking liar!" Hidan shouted.

"I seriously didn't do it!" Yori shook with the effort not to cry.

"Guys, she really didn't do it!" I yelled, trying to help.

"Oh, so now you're on _her_ side, un!" Deidara glared at me.

"Well… yes. I know she didn't do it, she was with me the whole time this morning," I told them.

"Well how do you know that she didn't do it before she was with you?" Pein snapped. It looked like someone had switched around a lot of his piercings, and had put a few fake earrings on his ears and face.

"I know because before we had gone I checked on everyone to make sure nobody knew that we were leaving, nya." I prepared for that statement to arise some suspicions, "and nobody had any makeup or anything done to their hair or face."

"Where were you guys going?" Yep, I was right. People were now suspicious.

"I had to go to the art store to get something," I explained, shifting uncomfortably.

"And where's the proof that you and Yori didn't go out to buy all of this… stuff?" Deidara asked, motioning to the makeup.

I took a deep breath and moved the clay from behind my back and into everyone's view, "I went to by something for… a special someone. Yori just came to help."

Everyone was silent as if contemplating the new information. They all reminded me of a jury made up of drag queens. That thought would have made me laugh if this was under different circumstances, but with all of the tension in the air I remained silent.

"Well… I guess that may be true, but then who did this?" Pein questioned, glancing at everyone in the room. Everyone else was doing the same, but I had a feeling that the person who had done this was not our friend, and also that they were not anyone that was only interested on doing simple pranks. No, I had a feeling that the person who had done this was a much bigger threat than anyone in this room.

**Well, there you have it, the 16****th**** Chapter. I hope it was good even though I thought it was a little boring. Anyway, Yuki and I do not own Naruto. Please keep reviewing, we appreciate it!**


	17. Author Notes and Apologies

_**This is Yuki here, and I have some bad news: Hocus Pocus no Jutsu will be going on a short hiatus. We can't think of any ideas, and we are just way too busy with school to even think about fanfics. Sorry. But, I promise that once we do get a new chapter up, it will be awesome. Again, Yori and I heavily apologize for this delay, but it can't be helped. If you have any ideas, it would be greatly appreciated if you PM them to us on the Darkness of Yami profile, or just tell them to us in a review. **_

_**On a lighter note, Yami and I may be starting a Rozen Maiden fanfic if we have time. Yori will not be participating in it because she hasn't read/watched Rozen Maiden. I don't know if we'll put this fanfic up on Atama Ga Kuru Teru or Darkness of Yami, but either way if you enjoyed that series, be on the look-out for it.**_

_**See you all, our lovely reviewers, when we finally get an idea hatched and put up another chapter!**_

_**~Yuki**_


	18. Demon

_**Chapter 17**_

_**ALL RIGHTY MY LOVELY READERS, YUKI IS BACK! XD**_

_**I missed you all, and school is so-so. Well, I have absolutely no ideas, but I'm planning on taking awhile to type this chapter and to make it long, so hopefully an idea will plant itself in my head and sprout into a beautiful flower of fanfiction awesomeness. ^_^**_

_**From now on, I'm going to put asterisks when using naughty words, because asterisks are just awesome. Oh, and I changed the Darkness of Yami profile so the name is now KuroTenshiAkuma. Cool name, huh? NOW ON WITH THE STORY! **_

The days that passed seemed like a blur. In reality, it was only two days, but it felt like two hundred years. We were all freaking out, for lack of a better term, about who had desecrated the Akatsuki if it couldn't have been Yori. Was it Aria and Luna and their cronies? Or was it some new evil force that was about to be thrust upon us, just adding to our troubles?

One thing's for sure, I'm still the blue-haired half-cat witch who's in love with Deidara, and I don't think that's ever going to change.

Akira and Aoi were out buying some gardening stuff because Aoi evidently loved to garden, and Yori was curled up in her room sulking about how she wasn't the one who had devised the prank on the Akatsuki. Although, if you asked me, I'd say I was glad it wasn't me, because then they would be even angrier. I was simply annoying Yuki by being a whiney little girl, and she had it with me.

"Yuki…my head hurts, nya…" I moaned, smacking my head on the table with a loud thunk. Yuki crossed her arms and huffed, "Well, I'm pregnant, so EVERYTHING hurts!" I gave a small smirk and said in a smart-assed voice, "Just wait until you actually HAVE the baby. Then your pain shall be ten-times worse, nya."

"Get out." Yuki snarled, pointing to the door. "I'm having a moment, and I don't need your stupid comments. Now get out and leave me and my pregnant self alone for awhile, or by God I shall rip out your spleen and sell it on the black market."

I stared in shock at Yuki's venomous glare, but shrugged and slowly walked out of the apartment anyway. "For someone who hates her pregnancy, Yuki sure is milking it up, nya." I muttered under my breath as I walked through the city streets. Then I grinned. "Heh, I made a pun. 'Milking it up' and being pregnant. Oh, I'm so funny, nya."

"Hey! HEY! HEY, KEIKO!" Miyu yelled from behind me. I turned around to see a little black fur ball streak across the sidewalk like lightening, jump, and then clamp herself to me with her claws. "Keiko! I need to tell you something!"

"Well, tell me instead of ripping my shirt with sharp as hell claws, nya." I grunted, glaring at her.

Miyu leapt down and stared up at me with mischievous eyes. "Deidara's going to the hot springs today~!" She sang in a voice that made my face heat up. The little pervert was telling me this so I could spy on Deidara while he was enjoying the heated water and steams of the saunas with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, or maybe nothing even on at all!

"Miyu, why do I care?" I asked, struggling to keep myself from imagining all the fun I could have spying on him…with a video camera…

"Well, actually, the whole Akatsuki are going, but I thought I'd just let you know. In case if you wanna, you know, make the first move." Miyu suggested, nudging my leg with her tail. "Although…you kinda already did." Oh. She was reminding me of the clay that I still haven't given to Deidara.

"I….was gonna give it to him after all the worrying is done, nya." I explained protectively, hugging the little present to my chest. Yes, I carry it around with me. I want my scent to rub off on the clay so that every time Deidara makes a bomb and it explodes, he will think of me.

"Keiko, honestly, you have some issues that need to be taken care of."

"I do not!" I answered Miyu indignantly, turning around sharply. "Now, if you'd excuse me, I am going to go sulk in a corner, nya. Buh-bye." And with that, I stormed off hugging Deidara's clay to my chest still. When I felt like Miyu wasn't near me anymore, I turned in the direction of the hot springs and made my way there. Ok, my feet did the talking, my brain did the protesting, and my heart did the "AFTER HIM, YOU CRAZY B****!" speaking. Otherwise, none of it was truly my decision.

"I am soooo gonna regret this later, nya." I muttered as I entered the women's side of the hot springs. I should explain; they built these hot springs in a traditional Japanese way, so there's a guy's spot and a girl's spot. It's actually pretty cool, and Yuki showed us it when she was showing us around New York City. But, there's a big sign that says "Warning: PEEPING IS PROHIBITED! IF YOU ARE CAUGHT DOING THIS HEINOUS ACT, YOU SHALL BE SEVERLY PUNISHED BY FEDERAL LAW!" It really cheers up the place in my opinion. Not.

After I got settled at my own little private area of the hot springs, I just sat and waited. There were a lot of areas in this place, and for some reason it wasn't very crowded today, so I was lucky enough to be all alone. And plot evilly. Actually, I was just waiting for a sign that the Akatsuki had arrived, because I made sure I was close to the whole separating the men's side from the women's side of the hot springs.

Sure enough, just when I was about to fall asleep in the warm bubbly waters of the hot spring, I heard a familiar voice screech, "CANNONBALL!" There was a loud splash, voices of angered protests, and that same voice going, "Tobi's sorry, Tobi just wanted to do a cannonball!'

"Ugh, Tobi, just shut the hell up, un," I heard Deidara say with a tired strain in his voice. "We want to relax for once, so can you please shut up, sit down, and relax? The situation that we're dealing with is a little too straining for us, and we'd appreciate it if we could relax, un." Wow. That's the first time Deidara's ever been half-way nice to Tobi. Good thing I have my video camera going.

"Deidara's right, Tobi. Just go sit in that corner and take a nice, quiet bath." Pein directed. I heard Tobi grumble, but I guess he obeyed Pein and Deidara, because I didn't hear a peep out of him. Heck, I didn't hear a peep out of any of the Akatsuki. Maybe they were all just way too exhausted? Time to investigate and put plan Spy On My Dei-Dei to operation!

As I slowly crawled towards the wall, I couldn't help but humming the Mission: Impossible theme song. I mean, the moment was just absolutely perfect for it! The steam that was surrounding me just made it better. Finally I was at a place where it felt safe to show myself, but just to be careful, I got out a spell tag and activated it. You see, even though a fledgling witch can't use magic without her familiar, she can use a spell tag. These are cards imbedded with a simple spell. They aren't that good for powerful, more original spells since you can't tamper with them unless you're the maker of them, but in quick fixes like these they're the perfect solution to a complicated incantation. This particular spell tag was an invisibility spell, and all I had to do to activate it was spill some of my blood onto the center rune of the card. It kind of reminded me of a summoning jutsu…

When I was nice and invisible, I hopped over the side of the wall and just stared at the depressing sight before me: the Akatsuki were in the hot spring, but...they were wearing swim suits. "But that's just wrong," I whispered to myself despairingly. "They should be naked and abiding to the rules of hot springs! I shun thee, nya! SHUUUUUN!"

"Did you hear something?" Itachi asked Kisame, who were right next to me. I held my breath and slowly slid away from them as Kisame answered with a no. Itachi shrugged and scoured the premises with his eyes. "Hm. I swore I heard something. But I'm not picking up any feel of chakra." Sweet, the spell shields me from even the great Itachi Uchiha! I so totally love this thing right now!

I averted my eyes from Itachi and Kisame, I looked over at Deidara. He was sleeping apparently in the pool, steam wafting in tendrils around his smexilicious body and making me just flat-out drooling. All the Akatsuki looked deliciously hot in swim suits, even Zetsu in an odd way. I think I spent about fifteen minutes in a daze just staring at them, the hotness level overloading my brain and making me mentally impaired for a little bit. I'm just lucky I didn't have a nosebleed, or else there would have been a problem. Finally, I stopped my stare-fest and remembered what I had actually come for. Well, this had been in the back of my mind, but I actually wanted to give Deidara his gift. And look at him nude, but half-nude would do. So sue me, I have needs.

"Ok, I have to do this with speed and accuracy, nya. One little mistake could-AH!" I was pushed away by Hidan abruptly, who has plowed right at me to do a back flip into the spring. When he made contact with me, he frowned in confusion, but he was already flying through the air into the water, so he couldn't investigate. "CRAP!" I yelled, running away and hiding in some bushes that were in a corner close to Deidara's side of the pool. "PAY NO ATTENTION THE DISEMBODIED VOICE, NYA!"

"I know that voice, un!" Deidara sat upright in the pool, wide-awake now. "Keiko, that's you, isn't it!" I shrunk more into the corner, thanking the Goddess for the invisibility spell that cloaked me right now. "Um, no, it's not! My name is Charlie, and I'm a unicorn from the land of rainbows, nya!" I said in a high-pitched voice. Deidara narrowed his eyes in my direction and gave a knowing smirk. "No one says 'nya' but you, Keiko."

….well, crap on a cracker, he had me there.

Come on out, Keiko. You're caught, un." Deidara said in what I felt was almost seductive voice. "If you delay this any longer, I may have to punish you, un." Ok, I'm pretty sure THAT was meant to be seductive. Cue the major nosebleed that began gushing forth from my nostrils at the thought of Deidara "punishing" me.

"I hate you, nya," I muttered, crawling out from behind the bushes. "All right, it's me. You caught me, nya." I walked out into the center of the area, but kept the invisibility spell cloaked on me. I mean, for God's sake I was only wearing a towel around my body! An incredibly thin towel at that…

"Uh…Where are you?" Hidan peered around in confusion. "You're still f***ing hiding, aren't you?"

"No!" I stammered. "I'm invisible! See, nya?" I marched over to the Jashinist and kicked him right where the sun don't shine. Hidan doubled over in pain, tears leaking out from the corners of his eyes. "Ow…"

"I thought you enjoyed pain, Hidan? It's essential to Jashin, right?" Sasori joked.

"Shut the f*** up, puppet! Not when the pain involves a man's honor! Jashin frowns upon it!" Hidan hissed through gritted teeth. Kakuzu laughed, and jeered at Hidan. "This is one of the things that money can't buy; and that's good, because I would never spend money on anything involving Hidan."

"Even when it **involves his pain**?" Zetsu asked.

"No, because I always have to watch his rituals when we're on the road."

"Can we please get back to Keiko?" Itachi said patiently. He turned in the general direction of where I was. "Keiko, why are you…here?"

I gulped and fidgeted, glad I was invisible. "Um…well, I….I… needed to give Deidara….something, nya." I walked over to Deidara and was about to shove the bundle of clay into his hands when Pein said, "Then why are you invisible?" Crap. "Because I'm naked, nya." I said in a dead-serious voice. "Because I'm naked, and I was being a secret agent. DUH!"

"OH MY GOD!" Came a chorus of surprised and somewhat eager voices. "SHE'S NAKED!"

"SHUT UP!" I yelled. "You're s'posed to be naked at the hot springs!"

"I didn't know there were rules, un," Deidara said smugly. "You just wanted to see us naked, so you snuck in, made yourself invisible, and waited."

"Nuh-uh! I really wanted to give you something!" I objected. "…okay, yeah, I kinda wanted to see you naked, nya." I added softly, looking right into Deidara's eyes, even though he couldn't return the gaze since he had no idea where I was. Deidara was close enough to hear, but no one else did. His eyes widened in shock, and then he smirked yet again. "Hah. Thought so, un."

"Just shut up," I muttered tugging on his hand. "Come with me, Deidara. I really do need to give you something, but I want to get some clothes on first." I imagine it looked odd for Deidara to be walking like someone was leading him by the arm, even though there was no one there.

"Deidara, where are you going?" Tobi asked excitedly. "To the candy store?"

"Nah, Keiko has to give me something," Deidara called over his shoulder.

"What is it, a blow-" Hidan's remark was cut off as Deidara threw a rock at his head, causing the Jashinist to curse at him. Deidara just shrugged and continued walking with invisible me leading the way. **(A/N: I hope you know what hidan was going to say. :3)**

I got to my locker where I had put my clothes, and changed while Deidara did the same. We both came out at the same time, and he grinned at me. "So, you really are a girl pervert. I never suspected you could go to those lengths, un."

"Okay, first of all, I needed to give this to you, for the TENTH TIME! And also, it's not a 'girl pervert' nya. The term is 'pervette'." I huffed, sticking my tongue out at him. Deidara grinned again, but it was a softer grin this time. I dug the bundle of clay from my pockets and presented it to him. "Here; a truce. We start talking to each other again and I'll do anything you say as long as it's within reasonable demand, nya. Plus, I just…want you to know that I…care about you to some degree," I added, a blush heating up my face.

Deidara took the package from my out stretched hand, unwrapped it, and stared in shock at it. "Keiko…this is high quality clay, un! It must have cost a fortune!" His eyes were lit up, and his smile was genuinely happy. I giggled and shrugged. "Eh, not that much, nya. Prices in this world and yours are a little different, I think."

"Keiko, this is great. Really, un. I forgive you for anything you said in the past," Deidara patted my head, and my kitty ears twitched in excitement at his touch. My tail swished and I leaned over into his ear, feeling bold, and declared, "You wanna know a secret, Deidara? I. Like. You, nya." I whispered, annunciated each of the last three words. I pulled away and Deidara stared at me, the clay dropping from his hands since he was in so much shock. "What, un?" He whispered, looking a little frightened.

"I love you, Deidara." I stated calmly. "I have since I first saw you in Naruto, nya. I will forever. This is the way I feel, and I'm sorry for all the crap I've put you through, nya." I looked down, surprised to feel tears sliding down my cheeks. "And I'm scared…that if I don't tell you this…something bad will happen, and I'll never see you again, nya. I won't mind if you don't return my feelings, but I just…wanted you to know, nya."

"Keiko…" Deidara whispered, stepping forward. "Keiko, I-" His reply was cut off by a large boom noise, and suddenly the wall next to us was knocked out. Deidara and I fell down to avoid the falling debris, and when I heard a ghastly old woman cackling, I looked up and grimaced. Standing on the rubble was Luna and Aria, wielding their staffs and leering down at us with evil smirks. "You thought you were safe, weren't you?" Aria asked. "Well, after our minions pulled that little prank on you, we figured that you'd be out of your mind with worry and distracted enough to…do this." She gestured to the broken down hallway, and Luna pointed at me. "Keiko, you're coming with us." She stepped forward, and her feet made contact with Deidara's bundle of clay that had fallen to the ground. I glared at her, because now my precious gift to him was ruined.

"And what if I say no, nya?" I demanded, standing up. I was now officially PO'd. "And you just ruined my present to Deidara!"

"In case if you haven't noticed, I don't really care," Luna snarled. Suddenly she lashed her arms out and vines wrapped around me. Aria waved her staff and a bubble of water appeared, and the vines threw me into it. Surprisingly, the water bubble had a hollow space for air so I could breathe. I tried breaking through the bubble, but my fists just rebounded off the surface each time they made contact. "Let me out, nya!" I cried out. "Let me out this instant!" Luna and Aria just smirked and turned around and began to walk away, the bubble containing me following them. "If you follow us, you'll die," Aria simply said to Deidara. He just stood there, looking like he wanted to do something but couldn't figure out what. But I forgave him; I probably would've done the same thing.

As I floated away further and further from him, I shouted to Deidara, "Deidara, don't worry about me, nya! I'll be fine! I love you-" But my sentence was cut off abruptly as some sweet smelling gas filled the bubble. Feeling dizzy, I couldn't help but utter a line from Charlie the Unicorn as I passed out. "Sleeping gas…why am I not surprised…"

And then everything went dark.

**-LATER-**

_**(A/N: For this part of the chapter, it will be in italics because Keiko is simply viewing this from her mind. You'll see what I mean.)**_

_It's dark. Am I alone? No…there's something here…is it me to? What is going on? Am I thinking this? Yes, I am. I can't talk. Why?_

"_The girl's mind is going everywhere, Aria. Is she still a capable vessel for the Master?" Who is that? What are they talking about? I hear noises…scary noises, screaming and other things like that._

"_Yes, Luna. She's still the perfect vessel. The preparations are all set; all we need is Keiko's blood and the ceremony will commence." Keiko….Keiko! That's my name, isn't it? I'm Keiko…I'm a witch!_

_Something is poking me! IT HURTS! Ow!_

"_There! Her blood!" There's chanting now. A lot of chanting. The atmosphere is getting heavier…scarier…I don't like this. I don't like it at all!_

_And now I can suddenly see. Standing in front of me is a demon. A demon from the Old World. I know what it is. It's Akuma, the beast that terrorized my ancestors. It looks like a human man, but it has leathery wings and a forked tail. A serpent-like tongue slithers out of its mouth, and the monster looks at me with its cold, black eyes. I freeze. Luna and Aria say something to it in a language I don't understand, and suddenly the thing is gone. Just gone! Where is it?_

_**I'm right here, young witch.**_

_Ah! It's inside me! Akuma's inside me! Why? Get it out…get it out now! I don't like this, I wanna go home! Hey…my cat ears, my tail…they're gone! In place are those ugly wings, the demonic tail, and that freaky tongue!_

"_She's becoming stressed." My voice comes out of my mouth, but it's not me speaking. It's Akuma. "But you're right; she is the perfect vessel for me new body. But there's something you overlooked…" I walk over and grab Aria by the neck and hiss, "She's protected by Megumi, you fools! How could you not see that?"__** (A/N: Megumi's the witch goddess, remember?)**_

_I am? Well, duh. I mean, I am a witch after all-_

_**No, you idiot. There's ward on you. It's…not activated, but it's still there. In fact, you've been in contact with Megumi for a while. I can smell her all over this body. Disgusting.**__ I shiver, even though it's not really me."It seems she has no idea how she was signaled out by Megumi. We're all right."_

"_Why would KEIKO have the Goddess's blessing?" Luna asked skeptically. "I know she's a little more than ordinary, but still…"_

"_I wouldn't know. Perhaps Megumi knows something I don't. But now…" My fists clench, and I grin triumphantly, a forked tongue slithering out of my mouth as I hiss, "I shall destroy this world, after all my years of slumber. And this time, there's no half-rate witch to stop me."_

_Now I know what's happening. Luna and Aria had used my body as a sacrifice to Akuma, so it could use me when it tried to take over this world once again. And since Megumi, the witch who stopped it hundreds of years ago, was just a spirit in our hearts and minds, nothing could stop it now. Not even me._

_**And you know why that is, Keiko? It's because now, you are me. I am you. You are nothing, yet I am everything. And you shall never surface into this world again. Have fun watching your beloved universe's demise, little witch. **_

_And now I am nothing. I am nothing. Nothing._

**HOLY CRAP THAT WAS SO EFFEN EPIC! Okay, what happened at the end was that Keiko basically became the vessel to Akuma, the demon that terrorized the witches all those hundreds of years ago. Kinda like Sasuke was supposed to be to Orochimaru. Now, she is just a sub consciousness, and she can't do anything because the demon has complete control over her body. Luna and Aria are so bad for resurrecting Akuma, huh?**

**So, can you guys guess who Megumi is, since Akuma said Keiko has been in contact with the witch goddess for awhile? GUESS DAMN YOU!**

**And was Deidara going to say he loved Keiko before Aria and Luna so rudely interrupted him? Or was he going to shot down her feelings?**

…**eh, that last one you can probably guess, since I did say Keiko and Deidara were gonna be a couple.**

**Woot! I'm soooo glad I made this chapter long! It was to make up for not updating. NOW REVIEW AND SAY YOU MISSED ME! XD**


	19. The Death of a Friend is Always Hard

_**Chapter 18**_

_**Hmmm…I didn't get as many reviews as I'd hoped for the last chapter… oh well, I can deal with it! XD**_

_**Okay everybody, this chapter will be in 3**__**rd**__** person's POV, but as told by Deidara's aspect. Don't hate Keiko in this chapter; it's not her, it's Akuma controlling her!**_

_**I'm gonna cry a tad while typing this I bet…**_

_**You've been warned: it may be emotional. NOW ONWARDS WITH THE STORY~!**_

"Deidara, why didn't you follow her, dammit? WHY?" Sasori demanded of the younger artist, his finger digging into Deidara's chest. "You just let her be carried off like that?"

Deidara smacked Sasori's accusing finger away and snapped, "I didn't have any other choice, un! She said not to worry…besides, it's not like I could have really done anything, those witches are strong!"

"Deidara…" Miyu silently padded up to him, her eyes sad and large. "I understand. You felt it necessary to come for help. You realized you weren't strong enough to battle against two fully-initiated witches who have had years of experience in combat; I forgive you for leaving my charge to the hands of those betrayers." She hopped onto Deidara's shoulder, sitting on him like he was a throne.

Deidara blinked. "Miyu…? You're acting….serious, un. That's really freaky, coming from you." Miyu smiled and nuzzled her faze against Deidara's neck. "You know, Keiko really does love you. She'd do anything for you."

"That's why I need to go help her! With everyone, un!" Deidara yelled, looking out at his comrades. The Akatsuki, Yuki, Yori, Akira, and Aoi all looked back at him. Deidara took a deep breath and stood up straight, then addressed them all. "Guys, we need to go help Keiko. Sure, once she came into our lives, she may have…screwed them up in a way, un. But…" Deidara smiled wistfully, thinking about all the crazy times he'd had since Keiko had come into his life. "But I love her, un. I love her so much that she makes me hurt, despite all the crap she's put me through." Deidara turned his gaze towards Sasori. "That how you feel too, isn't it Sasori no Danna?"

Sasori stared at Deidara. "…how did you figure that out?"

Deidara smirked. "For God's sake, Danna! I watched the way you two talked, the way you smiled at her, un! Sure, you may be a puppet, but you fell for Keiko, too. And pretty hard, un." Sasori looked down as everyone grinned at him. The puppet master shrugged and gave a "You can't always won" smile. "Okay, yeah. Yo got me; I fell for Keiko too. Anyone else wanna admit it before we go rescue the crazy witch?"

Tobi raised his hand and jumped up and down excitedly. "TOBI LOVES KEIKO-CHAN TOO!"

"You don't count, idiot," Sasori pushed him away. Tobi sniffed, anime tears flowing from the eye hole in his mask. "B-but…Tobi loves Keiko-chan!" "Like you wanna do things to her?" Sasori asked with a gleam in his eye. Tobi thought for a moment, and then asked, "What kind of things?" "Then you don't like her like Deidara and I do." Sasori stated firmly.

Deidara's eyes burned and he yelled, 'WAIT, ARE YOU SAYING YOU WANNA DO STUFF WITH KEIKO, UN?" He ran over to Sasori and grabbed him by the collar, shaking him. "THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE EVER TOUCHING HER, DO YOU HEAR ME?" Sasori sighed, a puff of air coming out of his mouth. "All right, all right, I get it. Besides, it's not like I could even do anything; I'm just a puppet. Also, Keiko's already picked you, hasn't she?"

"Damn right she has!" Deidara dropped Sasori and proudly pounded himself on the chest. "Because I'm much hotter than you, I have four mouths, and I actually have a sense for art, un!"

"You guys are acting like jealous little schoolgirl fighting over a hot guy," Yori scoffed, linking her arm with Itachi's. "Right, Ita-chan?" Itachi went pink at his nickname and shrunk a little into the collar of his Akatsuki cloak. "Hn. I guess. They're just annoying to me no matter what." Yori giggled and kissed him on the cheek. "Aw, I love it when you say 'hn'!"

Hidan and Yuki looked at each other and smiled. "Well, with all the romancy-stuff going on, we can't afford to be held up," Yuki stated, planting a big wet kiss on Hidan's lips. "After all, we ARE the couple expecting a baby." Hidan grinned and wrapped her in a hug. "Yuki, have I ever said how sexy you look pregnant?" "All the time, babe." Yuki answered him, kissing him again.

Akira leaned against Zetsu and gave him a smile. "Yuki's right; this is the time to be all lovey-dovey, because who knows when we'll have another chance to." "The plant man shrugged and held her hand. "I'm not so good at this kind of stuff,** but I'll try my hardest for you, Akira.**" Akira squealed and jumped up and down. "You're so sexy when you use both voices!"

"Tobi-senpai, I wanna hug you too then!" Aoi said, running over to him and jumped into a hug. "Aoi loves Tobi-senpai!" Tobi patted Aoi's head. "Thank you, Aoi-chan. Tobi loves you, too." He swung her around and the little girl laughed with delight, her face full of glee.__**(A/N: If anyone says anything about the age difference to this couple, I will come after you with a spork and pull out your intestines. LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDARYS, PEOPLE!)**

Pein and Konan couldn't help sneaking in a kiss when they thought everyone wasn't looking, but it failed and they were bombarded with cries of "FAKERS!" So, they shrugged and kissed for real, with passion. Kakuzu and Kisame sighed and hugged each other, crying hard. "WE DON'T HAVE A GIRL!" It looked somewhat disturbing and sad, but like they cared. **(A/N: Sorry you two…I don't like having a lot of OCs, because I'll lose track of them. I love you though, so I count right? RIGHT?)**

After all the kissing and other lovey-dovey stuff was done, Miyu explained to everyone her plan. "I have an idea where Keiko is, since I'm her familiar. But something feels wrong. I can't sense her presence as strong as I could before. It's like she's…" Miyu paused, trying to think of the words. "It's like she's unconscious, so she's not really sending strong signals. It's been like this for awhile; I'm getting worried."

"Well, where do you feel Keiko is, un?" Deidara asked. He looked even more worried than he had before now, and everyone could practically see the worried aura emanating from the blonde bombshell. "I want to find her, un. I HAVE to find her, and tell her I love her. I never got the chance to before, because those witches kidnapped her."

"I believe she's somewhere close by. At least, she was before her consciousness faded slightly. I don't think she's moved anywhere. Maybe she's trapped?" Miyu sighed and muttered, "I should be able to pinpoint her exact location with the abilities I possess…why can't I sense her more strongly?" Suddenly the ca leapt up. "Oh no…don't tell me…"

"What is it, Miyu?" Yuki asked.

"I think…I think Keiko's drugged somehow, so that I can't sense her. "Miyu explained. "Luna and Aria have the power, I'm sure. Knowing them, they'd probably do it. Come on. We're going to find Keiko." She turned to Aoi and Yuki. "I want you two to stay behind; Aoi, you're too little, and Yuki; you're pregnant. We can't risk anything happening to either of you. Watch the apartment while we're gone, okay?" Aoi and Yuki nodded, and Yuki said "Don't worry, we'll be fine. Concentrate on finding Keiko. I'll have dinner waiting for you when you all get back, okay?" Miyu nodded. She and everyone else began to walk away. "We're off!"

**~Meanwhile, back with the possessed Keiko and the evil witches whom we all hate~**

"Akuma-sama, they're coming," Aria said quietly. She looked up from her crystal ball over to Keiko-well, the body of Keiko, since it was Akuma in control. "They have Keiko's familiar; she can still sense Keiko's spirit, even though it's faint. They should be here soon." Aria, Luna, and their cronies had found a hideout in a cave that they had modified with tunnels, lights, and other things. The cave was located outside of New York City, about thirty miles away, on the side of a cliff that was a straight shot down to the cold waters of the Pacific Ocean. The only possible way to enter the cave was a small path from above, and you had to be very careful while walking on it or else you'd fall and plummet to a watery grave.

"That's fine. We're ready to apprehend them anyway, right?" Akuma waved her hand in the air with a careless flex. **(A/N: I'll refer to the demon-possessed Keio as Akuma now, ok? And even though Akuma technically has no gender, she's now a she because of Keiko's body being hers)** "Ugh, one thing I hate about female human bodies is that they're so weak physically. The males are so much stronger. But, I can do what I need to do just fine in this form." Akuma was sitting on a throne, yucking up all the things Luna and Aria were giving her. The demon was being treated as royalty, and she knew that it would just be better once she ruled the world. "Hahahaha. I can't wait to see the faces of those weak and pathetic humans when their beloved Keiko kills them one by one." Her demonic tail swished, and she licked her fangs with her snake-like tongue. "Yes…I can almost taste their blood right now…" Her leathery wings rose up and down and she rose out of the throne, landing next to Aria and Luna. "It's been too long since I had a good blood bath, you know. I'm very excited for this."

"I imagine so, Akuma-sama." Luna nodded respectfully. "I imagine so."

"And when the girl's little posse comes, I will finally be able to kill Megumi. Well, again. The first time was fun, but the second time…" Akuma's mouth spread out in a disgusting leer. "The second time will be even more fun, because she will be killed by one of her beloved little children." Aria and Luna each shivered at the delighted tone the demon was using. Sure, they brought Akuma into the world again so they could take over, but…the truth is, they were frightened of the creature. One false move and they could be dead before they even knew it. Their only chance of survival was to do whatever Akuma told them, and hopefully they'd overthrow her.

Suddenly Akuma spun around, her body twitching. "...I can sense them. They're here."

"All ready?" Luna asked worriedly. "They must have teleported and completely guessed the location."

"Whatever they did, it doesn't matter. They are here now, and I shall at last bath in the glory of my own power once again!" Akuma laughed, her sharp pointed teeth glittering as she smiled evilly. "I can't wait! Aria, Luna!" The two witches snapped to attention. Akuma strode over to them, her eyes narrowing. "I hope this body does me justice. If this fails, you shall be the ones to pay. Although the girl called Keiko is dormant within her own mind, she can awake at any time and attempt to overthrow my control on her. It may happen when Megumi is near. If that happens," Akuma clenched her fists and snarled through gritted teeth, "If that happens, I shall kill all of you. Understand?"

Aria and Luna gulped and nodded. "Yes, Akuma-sama."

Akuma smiled, cheerful now. "Good! Now that we have that cleared up, it's time for battle." As soon as she said this, a loud bang came from outside their hideout. Akuma looked up, a calm look settling on her face. "Well, they sure wasted no time in getting here. They have blown up the main entrance." She shrugged and began to walk through the tunnels that connected the rooms of the hideout. Throwing her head back to Aria and Luna, she barked, "Come, you two! Witness my glorious rise, the rise of a new era! The era of Akuma, the greatest being to walk the earth you pitiful creatures call home!"

The two witches had no other choice but to follow the demon. They were both regretting the choice they had made to resurrect Akuma; she was becoming somewhat of an egotistical nuisance with a revenge problem. **(A/N: Kinda like Sasuke, if you think about it really…) **It became clear to them: once Akuma killed the Akatsuki and Keiko's other acquaintances she had made in her desperate attempt to escape from Luna and Aria, Akuma would have to be sealed again. The demon was proving to be more difficult to handle than they had anticipated, simply due to the fact that she demanded so many things. They had to be careful to conceal their mutinous thoughts from Akuma though, since the demon could read their minds if she chose to.

Once the three females made their way to the entrance, Keiko's rescuers stood in all their glory: the Akatsuki, Aria younger adopted sister Yori, and the shape shifter Akira. Miyu was standing on Deidara's shoulder, her eyes blazing with intense hatred. "Luna, Aria, you betrayers to the great Goddess! Your time of redemption and death has come!" Miyu cried in a much more deep and womanly voice than she had ever used before. Akuma's eyes narrowed at the cat, and she lifted her head up and sniffed the air like an animal. Her face became twisted with disgust and hatred, and she growled, "Megumi…! So, this is the form in which you've been skulking around in for a few years!" Akuma's nails grew into claws, and she flew over to Deidara, swiping at his shoulder where Miyu stood. Miyu leapt off at just the right moment, and landed behind Akuma. The demon spun around, her tail swishing madly and her face contorted with rage.

"Keiko, what are you doing, un?" Deidara cried out. He was shaken up by the girl's anger; her new assets on her body making her look like some nightmarish creature of hell. "Miyu's your familiar!" Akuma smirked and turned around to face Deidara, her red eyes blazing. "Ah, yes. Deidara. Well, you see, I figured that if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. And as a bonus, I get these!" Akuma pointed to her demon tail, her dragonesque wings, and her snake-like tongue slithered out of her mouth to taste the fear in the air. "Being a part of the other side sure is a lot more fun than your losing team!" Akuma laughed, her vicious cackle sending chills up everyone's spine.

"Deidara, that's not Keiko anymore!" Miyu yelled, arching her back and hissing at Akuma. "It's the demon; it's Akuma! Keiko's body has been taken over, and her soul is residing in only a small part of her mind somewhere! That's why I couldn't sense her; she's hardly even here anymore!" Deidara stared at Akuma, taking in what his beloved Keiko had become. She still looked like Keiko, minus the car ears and cat tail, replaced by the demon-like structures. Her blue eyes had become hard and red, like a ruby. But instead of being beautiful, they were disgusting and full of hate. Her whole body stood rigid, her every move showing that Miyu was right; this girl was no longer Keiko. This girl was now a demon.

"No…" Deidara whispered, tears sprouting out at his eyes. "No, un! Give her back, you b****! GIVE ME MY KEIKO BACK, UN!" He launched himself at Akuma, who dodged his angered tackle with ease. Sasori and Hidan raced forward to pull the distraught bomber away from Akuma, afraid he'd be hurt. "Deidara, let me handle this!" Miyu said. She began to chant in some unknown language, one that sounded like it melded Latin with French and Japanese. Soon, the cat's whole body began to glow, and the light was almost so piercing and bright that everyone looked away. When the light faded, in Miyu's place was a beautiful woman. She wore a simple white robe that looked like a cross between a kimono and a traditional witch's dress, with runes shimmering all along the fabric. The woman had long obsidian black hair that reached her bare feet, and it was braided thickly. On her forehead shone a silvery star-shaped mark.

Yori gasped and bowed down, her head touching the ground. "Mother of us all…Megumi! It's Megumi! She's been with us this whole time!"

Aria and Luna stared in shock, backing away slightly. Megumi glared at the two of them, her bright green eyes seeming to pierce into their souls. "I shall deal with the two of you later," She said, then turned attention back on Akuma. "I am the great witch goddess Megumi! I hold the power of the lost elements of the shadows and the light that balance this universe! And you, demon Akuma, shall now perish at last! For many a millennia, I have walked this realm as a simple creature, be it cat, wolf, eagle…but now my power is at last fully restored, and I am once again able to revert back to my original form as a human."

Akuma sneered, rising up as she beat her wings. "You think you can defeat me? Keep in mind; I hold the body of your beloved Keiko as ransom as long as I use her for my own body. Can you kill the girl you have put a ward of love and protection on?"

Megumi looked down, and then back up, her face determined. "About a hundred years ago, I had a vision of Keiko's birth. I knew she would be special, so I dedicated myself to protecting her. You are just a small setback; she has more power and courage than you ever will know, and she can break free from your hold. Keiko, if you can hear us, we all love you!" Megumi turned to her comrade. "Give her words of comfort, everyone! She needs to hear them; then she will be able to gather up the courage to defy Akuma's power and once again become our hyper and lovable Keiko!"

They all nodded and began to shout words of encouragement, but it wasn't until Deidara screamed in a deafening tone, "I love you, Keiko! I always will, un! So come back to us!" that it seemed to have an effect. Akuma's face fell, and she put her hands up to her ears to block out the cries of Keiko's loved ones. "Shut up! All of you, shut up! Shut up, now!" She fell to the ground, twisting and screaming in pain. "Th-the ward…it's beginning to come alive! Keiko's mind is…!" Aria and Luna ran away, jumping off the cliff and falling towards the sea. They disappeared into the crashing waves, dead and gone forever. "Cowards!" Akuma hissed, realized her lackeys had committed suicide in an attempt to escape all the destruction that had wrought. "You shall go to hell for this-AAAHHHHHH!" Akuma's head snapped back, and suddenly her red eyes turned blue. Keiko's tone of voice came through, and tears were cascading down her cheeks. "Everyone…I can only hold Akuma off long enough to say this: You need to kill me in order for Akuma to truly die! Our souls, our minds, our bodies…their intertwined now, and only death can free them!"

"What are you saying, you idiot?" Akira snapped. "We can't kill you; we can to RESCUE YOU!"

Keiko smiled sadly. "I know, and I love you guys for that. But in order to end this, I have to die. Please accept that-" Suddenly the blue eyes turned red again, and Akuma snarled, "Oh, no you don't! I'll kill anyone who tries to kill us!"

At "us" Deidara realized Keiko was right: Keiko and Akuma were connected too deeply now, and they had to die in order to separate. "Keiko, forgive me," Deidara whispered. He turned to Megumi and yelled, "Megumi, give me a sword, un! One that can-that can kill demons!"

Megumi nodded and a sword materialized in her hands. It was in katana style, with shadows and tendrils of light swirling around the blade. The sword was golden in color, and emitted a holy and powerful aura. "It is called Sudikakio- 'demon-slayer.' It is blessed with my power, and can destroy all demons. Deidara, I know this hurts, but you must do it."

"I know, un." Deidara said, grabbing the hilt of the sword and wielding it at Akuma. "I know." Akuma snarled and flew at Deidara, claws extended. "DIE!" She screeched as she came at him. Just before Sudikakio sliced into her body, Akuma's red eyes morphed into blue and Keiko mouthed to Deidara three words that he had been waiting to hear again, specifically just for him: "I love you." And then the holy sword pierced her side, and a cloud of blood spurted from the wound. Akuma staggered back, the sword hanging from her side. She weakly placed her hand on the hilt, trying to extract it, but to no avail. Suddenly the wound shone with a bright light, and Akuma emitted a wail so loud it shattered a few boulders. Akuma crumpled to the ground, her face held high to the sky. Her whole body bathed with light, a dark oily substance slithered out from the wound, and materialized into a disgusting demonic snake creature. The demon opened its mouth and a dark, evil voice said, "You have finally won, Megumi. I hope you enjoyed it, at what the cost of the win was…" The figure dissipated into nothing, and the glowing of Keiko's body stopped. The demonic features were gone now, and her body was lying in a pool of her own blood. Deidara rushed over and held Keiko's limp body in his hands, tears falling freely from his face and onto Keiko's face.

"Keiko! Keiko, please, un…" Deidara sobbed, burying his face into her hair. Keiko's weakly opened her eyes and smiled, stroking Deidara's back strenuously. "Thank you…Deidara…" She whispered. "You…saved…me." Deidara shook his head. "No, I didn't. I killed you, un! I…" He began to sob again, tugging the sword out of Keiko's body. She grunted with pain, but continued to smile. "Deidara, I love you," She whispered, her eyes beginning to close. Her hand reached out to Deidara's head, and she slowly pulled his face towards hers, opening her eyes again. Finally, her lips met his, and they shared their first - and last- true kiss. Keiko's lips slipped away as her soul did, and she died in Deidara's arms. Deidara threw his head back and screamed for her, for himself, and for how everything had ended.

It wasn't a happily ever after. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. And knowing this made Deidara cry even more, as everyone gathered around him, beginning to cry for the loss of their friend. "Why, Megumi?" Deidara whispered, cradling the dead body of Keiko in his arms, not caring about all the blood. "Why did she have to-to-….die, un?"

Megumi layed a hand on Deidara's shoulder. "Forgive me, Deidara. It was the way fate arranged this. Keiko's sacrifice for this world will not go unheard of by the other races, I assure you."

"I want her back," Deidara whispered, stroking Keiko's cheek. The skin was already beginning to get cold. "And I'm going to get her back, un."

_**OMG I CRIED SOOO HARD WHILE TYPING THIS! Mainly because I'm on my period, and I was listening to sad anime songs while typing this.**_

_**Don't worry, this isn't the last chapter.**_

_**The next chapter I think will be.**_

_**Maybe two chapters at most before this story ends.**_

_**Don't forget to review, and if you cried…**_

_**TELL ME!**_


	20. HPNJFinale no Jutsu!

_**Chapter 19**_

_**Okay guys, this is the last chapter of Hocus Pocus no Jutsu! It's gonna be the longest, I hope, and I will try to put a lot of effort and time into this chapter. Thank you for all the support and reviews you have given me during the duration of this fanfic, and I hope I gave you something fun to read. Make sure you read the author note at the bottom, it has special news~!**_

As soon as Yuki saw the band of friends walk into the apartment lobby, she and Aoi ran over breathlessly. Yuki stood over at Hidan and asked, "So, did you guys beat them? Where's Keiko, making out with Deidara now that they're safe to love each other?" She grinned, but it faded when she saw Hidan's depressed look. "Hidan-kun? What's wrong? You guys DID save Keiko, right?" She asked, looking around. She saw all the other sad faces, and her gaze lingered on Deidara. He was holding…a body. A body draped over with a cloth, stained with blood. Yuki's hands went up to her mouth and gasped, "No…! Please, don't tell me…that can't be Keiko, can it? Tell me! Tell me now, Hidan!" Yuki banged her fists on Hidan's chest, tears dribbling down her face. "Where's Keiko, Hidan? Where is she? She's not dead; she's too crazy to die so easily! SHE'S NOT DEAD!" Hidan held her hands away, and then enveloped her in a hug. "I'm sorry…Keiko's dead, Yuki. We had to kill her to free her from Akuma." Yuki's eyes widened and she stepped away, lifting the edge of the cloth wordlessly. When she saw Keiko's pale, limp form under the stained material, she staggered back into Megumi, who caressed her head comfortingly.

"Why?" Yuki demanded, sobbing hysterically. "Why did she die?" Megumi sighed, looking to Deidara. The blonde artist was silent, his tears all spent, and just staring at the smiling dead face of Keiko. "Yuki- no, everyone- come with me. I need to explain some things to you all." The group made their way to the apartment's suite area, where Yuki sat down on a couch to steady herself when Hidan told her that she had to stay calm for the baby's sake. When everyone was settled, with Deidara relentlessly cradling Keiko's body in his hands, Megumi began to tell her tale.

"Keiko's fate was to die, so that she could save this world from the clutches of Akuma. However, her destiny is to become the next greatest witch ever to walk the earth, even better than I. When I dreamt about her birth, I knew it was my duty to wait until I was able to meet her in person, and put multiple wards on her to protect her of a premature death." Megumi paused, her green eyes filling with silent tears. "Keiko's destiny is not yet fulfilled; she needs to come back to life. There is only one way to bring a soul back to the body; to give up a soul equal to that former soul's worth. Keiko was an extraordinary girl; kind, lovable, courageous, friendly, and more powerful than she ever knew. I do not know of a soul equal to hers; I know three that combined together could hopefully add up to her worth."

"Who, Megumi-sama?" Yori asked.

Megumi pointed to herself. "Me, Zakuro, and Kitsune." At their names, the said witches suddenly appeared in a flash of light. Both bowed before Megumi, keeping on their knees. Kitsune flashed everyone a grin, and Zakuro nodded respectfully. "Zakuro and Kitsune are my loyal handmaidens; throughout the course of the birth of witches, these two have followed me to the ends of the earth. They knew about Aria and Luna, but they promised to have Keiko take care of things, as that was her fate. Forgive us for deceiving you all when we could have been a much bigger help, but we had to do what was right in our eyes. Someday, you will all understand our actions."

"We will gladly give up our lives so that our sisters can live in peace with Keiko as their ruler." Zakuro said solemnly. Kitsune nodded, chiming in, "We've lived a long life. I think it's about time to retire to the great paradise in the sky."

"Wait, you mean Keiko will become ruler of the witches?" Akira broke in, confused. "How?"

"When we give our souls up for Keiko, our powers will transfer themselves into her." Megumi explained. "But the one thing that will remain stronger than anything will be her affinity with the lost elements of light and shadow. These two elements haven't been used since I fought with Akuma, and it's time for them to show their face to the world again. Keiko will become the queen of the witches, so-to-speak, and she deserves it."

"When Keiko is brought back to life, will she…" All eyes turned to Deidara, who finally spoke. "Will she still love me, un?"

"Of course she will," Megumi nodded. "Not even death could break the bonds of love you two hold, that's for sure."

"Do it. Please, un. Do it now." Deidara whispered, holding Keiko's body out to Megumi. "I need to hear her speak, I need to see her smile…I need Keiko, un. I never thought I'd need or love someone as much as I do her. But I do, un. I do."

Megumi, Zakuro, and Kitsune nodded, and Keiko's body began to glow with a warm, comforting light that made everyone's body tingle. She floated to the circle of the three witches, who began to chant in that odd language. "It's the language of the Elders," Yuki whispered in awe. "What?" Aoi asked, clinging to her older sister. "The language of the Elders is said to be the first language used by people like us; witches, vampires, werewolves, and shape shifters. I never thought…I'd actually hear it though." Yuki smiled, her tears drying up. "I knew the day I became friends with Keiko was a day I'd never regret."

Suddenly, the three witches all turned into animals; Megumi, a cat; Zakuro, a wolf; and Kitsune, a fox. The animals circle around Keiko's floating body, still chanting in their language. All at once, the light turned black, but not a scary black. It was black like night, a black that signified the urge to run with the moon. It was the element of shadow, as the bright light before had been the element of light. "Remember; not everything that lurks in the shadows in evil, and not everything that walks in the day is good," The cat spoke, not using the language of the Elders. "Earth, Air, Fire, and Water shall guide you," The wolf stated, the sentence directed at Keiko's body. "Finally, rule with hope, compassion, love and trust," The fox whispered, adding her blessing to the chant. A ringing sound like bells sounded, and the three animals disappeared, seeming to just vanish into Keiko's chest. Before they completely disappeared, the animals' three voices rang out in sync, "We shall be watching and guiding you, so don't fear." Keiko's body slowly descended to the ground, and everyone gathered around her, awaiting her awakening.

***~* Keiko's POV *~***

I was a child again. How old was I? I don't know. I was running through a field of wild flowers, laughing and giggling like I had no worries in the world. But I didn't, because I was dead and this was Heaven, right? Right? Because if I wasn't dead, then why was Mommy and Daddy here with me? "Mommy, Daddy, look at what I can do!" I giggled, flopping down in a pile of flower petals and blowing them from my face. "I can be the wind!" Mommy laughed warmly and walked over, stroking my forehead lovingly. "My little Kei-chan, how silly you are!"

"Keiko, Daddy can do that too!" Daddy said, tripping into the field and landing with a loud thunk that made flower petals spin wildly around him. "Oops…guess I tripped…" He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. I laughed, attacking him with a hug. "Daddy, you're too old to do that! You might break your butt and die!"

"I'm not too old," Daddy muttered, looking wounded. "Am I?" Mommy kissed him on the nose, grinning, "I don't know, honey. Last time you tried to outrun Keiko, she beat you by a few feet! I'd say that's getting old, don't you think so too?"

"Of course not! I'm only thirty-two; I'm in the prime of my life!" Daddy stated, pounding himself on the chest with dignity and pride. He nuzzled my cheek with his nose and whispered, "And you can't die from breaking your butt…I think."

"Pfft, says you," I scoffed, sticking my tongue out at him.

I wanted to stay there forever in the loving embrace of my parents. It's been so long since I've seen them, why should I leave now when I just met them again after all these years of them being dead and I alive? As I thought this, my father's arms tightened around me and he whispered, "You have to go back now, Keiko."

I snapped my head up. "…what did you say, Daddy?"

"You have to go back to your friends, Kei-chan," Mommy said. I shook my head, saying strongly, "No! I wanna stay here, with you! I've missed you!"

"Keiko, you must return to the world of the living, as your parents say you must," I turned around to see a pretty woman with black hair wearing a white dress-like thingy, and Kitsune and Zakuro were standing behind her. "Zakuro, Kitsune!" I waved excitedly and bounded over to them. "Hi, I haven't seen you two for a while-wait, are you dead too?" I asked, giving them a scrutinizing look.

The other woman shook her head, then enveloped my in a strong hug. She smelled good, like herbs and other witchy things. "I'm so sorry, my little witch," She whispered into my ear. Immediately I stiffened. "…Miyu..?" I whispered. Her voice sounded like Miyu's. And then I remembered what had happened before I died; Miyu was Megumi, my eternal and ethereal Goddess. I owed her everything; my existence as a witch, my happy life, and many other things. "Megumi-sama," I bowed, breaking away from the hug. "Wait…you all are dead though, right? Or else you wouldn't be here!"

"We are dead, yet we're alive in you now. Our souls are one with yours, and we shall guide you throughout the rest of your years," Megumi explained. Zakuro and Kitsune nodded, and they both suddenly turned into animals; Zakuro a wolf, Kitsune a fox. The two animals circled me, and then seemed to leap into my chest and disappear. Immediately I was filled with calm, warming sensation that spread throughout my whole body, from my head to toes. Megumi smiled sadly, and a beautiful staff materialized in her hands. Handing it to me, she explained, "You are now ruler of the witch race. You hold the power of each of the six elements: Water, Fire, Earth, Air, Light, and Shadow. This staff will help you harness the abilities of them. It was mine, when I was the Witch Queen. Use it wisely Keiko. And remember," As Megumi transformed into Miyu, the cat familiar I had known and loved for so long, her voice became only a whisper inside my head, "I'll be with you, no matter what." And then she, too, was inside of me.

I looked down at the staff in my hands; it was a combination of silver and gold, with stripes of sapphire, ruby, emerald, and diamonds specks peppering the handle. On the end of the staff was a clear crystal. As I looked farther into it, I could make out figures inside it. I gasped as I realized who it was; it was them. My friends. The friends I had left behind. They were all crowded around my body, praying, it seemed, for me to wake up.

"Keiko, please go. We'll wait for you here. Remember honey; we love you." My parents embraced me, and I began to cry. "But I never avenged your deaths!" I sobbed, falling into their arms. "Shhh….yes, you did," My mother soothed, her voice caressing my broken heart. "Aria and Luna killed us ourselves. They threw themselves off that cliff, remember? You helped, just because you were Akuma's body. So in a way, you avenged us." "Okay," I sniffed. "That works. I'm not a killer anyway." My father smiled and kissed my cheek. "Be strong, Keiko. We love you. You'll be fine; we know you will."

And then suddenly they were fading; my parents, the field of flowers, everything in that paradise I had arrived in when I died. And as quickly as they had disappeared, new figures were before me. I knew at once who they were; Deidara, Yuki, Yori, and the rest of them. My eyes were blinking rapidly, and I struggled to get up. I fell back down, unaccustomed to the soreness of my body. Megumi's staff was still clutched in my hands, and I let go of it so I could push myself off the ground. When I succeeded, I fell into Deidara's outstretched arms, who was crying with joy. "Keiko!" He sobbed into my hair, stroking my back. "I love you, Keiko! Don't ever leave again, un!"

"I love you too," I said, crying also. "I won't leave again: I promise."

"Pinky swear on it, un." Deidara whispered, holding out his pinky. I grinned through my tears, happy to taste the salt of the little droplets of water, and linked my pinky with his. "It's a pinky promise." Everyone else was hugging me then, and crying. I was swept up in all the emotion, laughing and crying at the same time. I promised everyone I wouldn't leave, and I also promised something else:  
"JELLO SHOTS AT THE HAPY HOUR, HAPPY TIMES BAR IS ON ME TONIGHT!"

A chorus of moans and cheers were thrown up, and I smiled. Yep, life was going to be back to normal again.

I was sure of it. Especially when I heard Megumi, Zakuro, and Kitsune all say… _You'll be fine, Keiko. You'll be fine. It's a promise._

_Together we'll make a promise  
To never forget it all  
We've only scratched the surface  
Of worlds we'll come to know  
Together moving forward  
Even though we're far apart  
So safe and sound inside our hearts  
It's all inside our hearts_

_-"Together We'll Make a Promise" Chorus, by Cory Yarckin_

**~*~ A Few Months Later ~*~**

"IT'S TWINS! IT'S TWINS! OH MY JASHIN I'M A FATHER!" Hidan screeched through the phone, almost breaking my eardrums. "That's awesome, Hidan!" I congratulated him. "Is Yuki all right?" "Yeah, she's just fine. The birthing process about made my faint, but she was fine. Oh, it's a boy AND a girl! I'm so happy!" I could hear Hidan almost crying, so I told him to tell Yuki I said congrats and hung up. It had been a day of labor, but Yukio had finally given birth to her kids. Now Yuki had a girl she could spoil, and Hidan a boy he could…do whatever it is Jashinist fathers do for their sons. I really didn't want to know.

I was now Queen of the witches, and lemme tell ya; that's not an easy job. There's soooo many of them out there! And more just keep popping up! But, at least I had Yori, Yuki, and Akira to help me keep tabs on them. I should explain: after Aria and Luna's plot to resurrect Akuma and destroy the world, you know all that regular doom and gloom stuff, and I was appointed the Witch Queen, I dissolved the Witch Council and made it better. Akira, Yuki, and Yori were the Witch Council now, with me as the Queen and leader and all that fun stuff. I should say, things were a lot better now with us four heading the affairs of the witches. We've even made alliances with the vampires, shape shifters, werewolves, and a lot of other superhuman races here on earth. I'm not trying to brag, but… We're awesome.

Oh, are you wondering about the Akatsuki? Well, as you can probably tell, Hidan and Yuki are pretty much a happy couple. They got married last month, and Yuki finally had her babies. Itachi and Yori are pretty steady- they go on dates, every three days in fact. Akira and Zetsu? Well, their relationship is…odd. Frankly, I don't really want to know how they manage their love life, just because Zetsu is a plant man I don't want to know how that works out for Akira. Aoi and Tobi are inseparable; Aoi follows him around like a little lost puppy. It's so freaking cute, it's not even funny. I hope that when Aoi gets older, they get married and live a long life together.

As for me and Deidara?  
Well…  
We're pretty much your average completely in love couple, with the exception of going through hell and back together. I opened the portal to our world and the Naruto world right after I was brought back to life, so the Akatsuki could go back and forth between our worlds for whatever they wanted.

…and so I could harass Ino, Karin, Sasuke, and Sakura, but they would never know it was me. BECAUSE I'M A NINJA WITH THE POWERS OF A WITCH! Or is it a witch who happens to be a ninja? Is there even a difference? Eh, I don't know.

But, yeah, that's how my story ends. I hope you enjoyed it, because I think it was one worth telling. Who knows, I may even appear before you guys again just for the fun of it. I've love you all, and you're what's kept me going. That, Deidara, and the promise of Deidara-shaped chocolates the author promised me. Which if she doesn't give them to me; I shall sneak into her house late at night and turn her into a spider so her cats can eat her.

Oh, one more thing before I go…

HOCUS POCUS NO JUTSU~! *POOF* Now you're all cats! MUAHAHAHAHA!

Bye everyone! This has been Keiko Furiyama, newly appointed queen of the witches, to tell you the story of my awesomeness. Keiko, over and out, nya!

_**WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH IT'S OVER! *SNIFFLES*I loved this fanfic very much! I know it wasn't as long as I said it would be, but…I couldn't ruin it by adding something, because I think it was amazing the way this chapter turned out.**_

_**Now, for thank yous.**_

_**To AbbyLovesDeidara…you're one of my best Fanfiction friends, and I love you. Everyone read her fanfics! They're awesome! **_

_**Sasukeloverforever…you're a nice reviewer, and thanks for listening to Abby-chan when she s=told you about this fanfic. I'll be looking forward to your fanfics!**_

_**Gaaraxoxo…thank you for being a new reviewer, and too bad you caught this fic right when it ended! But I appreciate your reviews anyway!**_

_**Rose-chan...YOU'RE MAH FAKE LIL' SISSY, SO I LOVE YOU! Thanks for bringing my spirits up whenever I had writer's block!**_

_**And finally, Yori, who used to be Amaya. I don't know if you're reading this, but thanks for being my friend forever how long you were. You and I were an awesome writing combo; I hope that someday we can be friends again.**_

_**Well, that's it for the thank yous! Now, even though Yori's kinda not talking to me, I may get the notebook that has "Oh Crap" in it and type it up for you guys. Also, she has an amazing SasoriOC fanfic that I will try to get from her, so look forward to late. Lastly, I'm thinking of writing a completely new fanfic from scratch about an angel. It'll be a Naruto one, but that's all I'm going to tell you. Anyways, thanks you all! I love you! XD**_

_**~Yuki**_


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